I feel like I should clear the air here more for my sake than for yours. I’m generally a people pleaser, so I don’t like letting people down, and so I was avoiding making any such announcement, especially in a place that possibly opens me up to occult attack. But, I digress.
One of my least favorite traits about myself is how quickly I am to be swayed to or from one side or another. I consider this a fatal flaw of mine as it leaves me seeming indecisive and foolish when those are not how I’d like to be portrayed. I really do want to pick something and stick with it, but I find such consistency difficult.
This recent turn away came through a fairly logical place, I thought I found things that didn’t match up, the triangles weren’t congruent, this is not natural growth this is an unnatural graft. And as I left my mind over calculated as I researched history that I thought was hidden from me. Savodonger once asked me if I was done with Christianity for good, and I replied, “Short of Jesus appearing and explaining everything in fine detail, yes, I am done for good.”
But this is exactly what happened. Jesus and I have a unique connection that few experience, and I don’t know why I have it. But, whenever I stray Jesus appears before me in a vision, a dream, or some miraculous experience. This time, I had a dream.
There were some events leading up to having the dream, I wasn’t unprepared, I knew that it was coming, but I didn’t know what Christ could say that could change my mind. So, back to the dream, Jesus appeared to me in the dream and said, “Witness the depths of my mercy through salvation and history.” And he proceeded to answer in fine detail every doubt I had, from the historicity of the Old Testament, to its authorship, to the question about who can be saved and other Catholic doctrine.
It was humbling and it seemed that to every objection that I thought was very this or that he provided a third answer I did not consider possible.
When I woke up from the dream, I remembered fully everything he had said, and I checked some things he said about history to see if it was legit, and it all checked out. I felt like a fool. So, I got in touch with the pastor of my parish and reconciled to God.
From here, I hope and pray that I remain constant in the faith, but my history has shown me that I’m doomed to repeat this cycle, I hope for deliverance.
So, I won’t be posting on BALG very much. The posts I do make won’t be “You’re going to hell, repent now.” Because as strange as it might sound I kinda like you guys, and just like I keep my religion out of my job, I will try to keep it out of this forum. But, you know, I practically live and breathe debate so… But anything I do post here will be largely philosophical or a deeper look at a movie.
If anyone has any questions or would like clarification on something or wants to tell me I’m being deceived by grey aliens, go ahead, I’m pretty open minded.
Again, I’m not here to proselytize you guys. This post is more for my sake than yours.
ashtkerr, do you realize that dreams may be influenced by whatever spirits want you to believe? Some “mystics” had visions of Hell and say they saw Catholic priests and popes there. Others also had visions of Hell but insist Catholicism is the true religion. All of that may be bull!
Oh… And some of them saw “homosexuals” and “witches” in Hell… It’s all a plot by spirits of Jehovah to lure people into believing in him as well as thinking and living a certain way…
Are the dreams intermingled with normal dreams? Can you detail his theological answers to your inquires, or was it more “In the dream it really felt profound emotionally, like he had answered this specific question, but I cant recall quite how, only that it I knew he did.” kind of thing.
If you are experiencing Jesus in a fashion that he is answering concretely, directly, and in a way you feel you could not self-fabricate, you should probably let us in on what the bloke is saying!
[quote=“ashtkerr, post:1, topic:8065”]I feel like I should clear the air here more for my sake than for yours. I’m generally a people pleaser, so I don’t like letting people down, and so I was avoiding making any such announcement, especially in a place that possibly opens me up to occult attack. But, I digress.
One of my least favorite traits about myself is how quickly I am to be swayed to or from one side or another. I consider this a fatal flaw of mine as it leaves me seeming indecisive and foolish when those are not how I’d like to be portrayed. I really do want to pick something and stick with it, but I find such consistency difficult.
This recent turn away came through a fairly logical place, I thought I found things that didn’t match up, the triangles weren’t congruent, this is not natural growth this is an unnatural graft. And as I left my mind over calculated as I researched history that I thought was hidden from me. Savodonger once asked me if I was done with Christianity for good, and I replied, “Short of Jesus appearing and explaining everything in fine detail, yes, I am done for good.”
But this is exactly what happened. Jesus and I have a unique connection that few experience, and I don’t know why I have it. But, whenever I stray Jesus appears before me in a vision, a dream, or some miraculous experience. This time, I had a dream.
There were some events leading up to having the dream, I wasn’t unprepared, I knew that it was coming, but I didn’t know what Christ could say that could change my mind. So, back to the dream, Jesus appeared to me in the dream and said, “Witness the depths of my mercy through salvation and history.” And he proceeded to answer in fine detail every doubt I had, from the historicity of the Old Testament, to its authorship, to the question about who can be saved and other Catholic doctrine.
It was humbling and it seemed that to every objection that I thought was very this or that he provided a third answer I did not consider possible.
When I woke up from the dream, I remembered fully everything he had said, and I checked some things he said about history to see if it was legit, and it all checked out. I felt like a fool. So, I got in touch with the pastor of my parish and reconciled to God.
From here, I hope and pray that I remain constant in the faith, but my history has shown me that I’m doomed to repeat this cycle, I hope for deliverance.
So, I won’t be posting on BALG very much. The posts I do make won’t be “You’re going to hell, repent now.” Because as strange as it might sound I kinda like you guys, and just like I keep my religion out of my job, I will try to keep it out of this forum. But, you know, I practically live and breathe debate so… But anything I do post here will be largely philosophical or a deeper look at a movie.
If anyone has any questions or would like clarification on something or wants to tell me I’m being deceived by grey aliens, go ahead, I’m pretty open minded.
Again, I’m not here to proselytize you guys. This post is more for my sake than yours.
Sincerely,
In Christ,
With love,
Ashton Kerr.[/quote]
Follow what you Feel is Right for you, at all time, If you Feel that Being a Christian is Right for you at the Moment, Do it, I believe there is no Wrong Way or Path, but that each person have is own Path, Since i Believe Reality is Subjective, not Objective.
As For changing your Mind often, It Happened to me A LOT in the Past so i know what your living, I am still Looking for new and Fresh Knowledge, but now, since i have found my Path in the Left Hand Path, Its always stay in these Category, But I can Definitly Understand what your Living.
Do not try to force him or something like that. I think that we all should respect his opinion and the path he chose as final (probably). I personally stand for a freedom and if your choice is giving you some sort of freedom feel free to stay there. I see religions as big limitation to humankind but again, it’s just my point of view, none share the same opinions. All what I can tell you is, if you feel comfortable and free in that path, just go for it and listen your feelings but if you still feel confused in some way, try to clean your head a bit, do some more research and then decide for final step.
UPDATE: @Mephistor, gave you the answer which I was writing and he posted it just few seconds before me and I must say that I agree with him.
Jesus is a being that I consider to be an allie of mine, as in w e both want to take the world in a certain direction, but there are alot of things about him you and most other people don’t know so I’m not sure how much I would trust that. In any caser since he’s an freind of mine I won’t get in the way of whatever he’s doing with you for better or worst.
One thing though and I’m completely serious here, if Jesus shows up again ask him if he is freinds with the alien named Cahft this woman talks about on her page and if he can introduce you to him if he is [url=http://www.heidihollis.com/Alien_War.php]http://www.heidihollis.com/Alien_War.php[/url]
Now to everyone here alot of what heidi talks about seems to be nonsense and alot of it is imo, but I won’t get into that here. The important thing is the cahft entity is real, if this is actually jesus, something interesting should happen if you ask him what I suggested.
Nonsense! Irrespective of people’s personal hatreds for the Abrahamic faiths and God, there is no room for authority in occultism. Period. White magi since the Golden Dawn’s heyday have echoed this sentiment and it continues to resonate to this day, much to the bane of those ultra-authoritative cult heads. Most occultists will come to know what that Name means or they already do. Once any person does, its easier to say “Praise the Lord.”
Hey, Ashton
I respect your choice and your feelings. I had a very interesting experience with Jesus while I was in a very difficult situation.
I appreciate you saying this, it takes guts to do that
Also, I would like to read what Jesus has told you, if you would like to share, but if not, I understand that also.
Good luck, and I hope you stay on this forum.
Not to worry. with the historical evidence Deepening- or shall we say Lack of it. and if somehow they can prove he existed. he was in the "Many come and many go—by way of the cross gang [because he will be seen riding a pink unicoorn on the old “push me/Pull you” design, jesus will very likely be a demoniphile also- and resembling anything christian would be a good thing. because historical fact time. back in would be jebus day- a “Christian” was a part of the “throw the roman bums out” Military leader messianic general movement. the story in the nt which would be lhpers try so stridently to anathematise was largely the creation of paul via marcion.
ChristIanity- was a roman creation to subdue the many radi jew cult who could never let a fart go by without killing a cop- kinda like things are getting here? Go ahead and experiance jesus, and when I see you leading a crowd to throw a human wave upon a sorry police ready for riot battle- then I know you got the right spirit.
Ash, it’s my opinion that you have impressive amounts of integrity and moral courage and I can’t begin to imagine the difficulties you’ve faced with the apparent dichotomy between your self and the teachings of Christianity. I’ve had a very easy life by comparison, at least all my ducks line up in a row! :o)
I hope that what you have works, and I know you deserve to find harmony.
(And if you do decide to come back to the dark side… we have cookies, and I hear rumours of pudding. :D)
If anyone (Ash included) wants to start a debate thread, the White Magick: Right Hand Path forum is the ideal place to do it, that way folks won’t feel preached at in General and it’s for the crossover between religion and magick, practicing magick within any religious context from Asatru to Islam, including questions and debates about how that works for anyone.
Things in this world is backwards. True evil hides behind good. Vegetarianis. In itself holds an evil agenda, though vegetables are not bad. I prefer the leafy greens over others.
I’m a miserable person: I am becoming more and more disillusioned with magick just as I was with Christianity before that. But I am totally OK with you going back to Christianity. Is it a fake? Of course. But if it keeps you from eating a bullet, I’m ok with that.
[quote=“ashtkerr, post:1, topic:8065”]I feel like I should clear the air here more for my sake than for yours. I’m generally a people pleaser, so I don’t like letting people down, and so I was avoiding making any such announcement, especially in a place that possibly opens me up to occult attack. But, I digress.
One of my least favorite traits about myself is how quickly I am to be swayed to or from one side or another. I consider this a fatal flaw of mine as it leaves me seeming indecisive and foolish when those are not how I’d like to be portrayed. I really do want to pick something and stick with it, but I find such consistency difficult.
This recent turn away came through a fairly logical place, I thought I found things that didn’t match up, the triangles weren’t congruent, this is not natural growth this is an unnatural graft. And as I left my mind over calculated as I researched history that I thought was hidden from me. Savodonger once asked me if I was done with Christianity for good, and I replied, “Short of Jesus appearing and explaining everything in fine detail, yes, I am done for good.”
But this is exactly what happened. Jesus and I have a unique connection that few experience, and I don’t know why I have it. But, whenever I stray Jesus appears before me in a vision, a dream, or some miraculous experience. This time, I had a dream.
There were some events leading up to having the dream, I wasn’t unprepared, I knew that it was coming, but I didn’t know what Christ could say that could change my mind. So, back to the dream, Jesus appeared to me in the dream and said, “Witness the depths of my mercy through salvation and history.” And he proceeded to answer in fine detail every doubt I had, from the historicity of the Old Testament, to its authorship, to the question about who can be saved and other Catholic doctrine.
It was humbling and it seemed that to every objection that I thought was very this or that he provided a third answer I did not consider possible.
When I woke up from the dream, I remembered fully everything he had said, and I checked some things he said about history to see if it was legit, and it all checked out. I felt like a fool. So, I got in touch with the pastor of my parish and reconciled to God.
From here, I hope and pray that I remain constant in the faith, but my history has shown me that I’m doomed to repeat this cycle, I hope for deliverance.
So, I won’t be posting on BALG very much. The posts I do make won’t be “You’re going to hell, repent now.” Because as strange as it might sound I kinda like you guys, and just like I keep my religion out of my job, I will try to keep it out of this forum. But, you know, I practically live and breathe debate so… But anything I do post here will be largely philosophical or a deeper look at a movie.
If anyone has any questions or would like clarification on something or wants to tell me I’m being deceived by grey aliens, go ahead, I’m pretty open minded.
Again, I’m not here to proselytize you guys. This post is more for my sake than yours.
Sincerely,
In Christ,
With love,
Ashton Kerr.[/quote]
I love what you said here. I as a fellow Christian-minded brother I have faith that I have made the right choice in aligning myself with Jehovah, God of the Hebrews and his Son and it’s inspiring to see that the alluring temporary rewards of a self-seeking lifestyle and occultism haven’t driven Them totally out of your life. To each his own, of course. I still myself drawn to the fallen spirits out of curiosity and admiration and ironically (perhaps delusionally) as a way to draw closer to Jehovah insofar as their spirituality is common ground; ie the more I learn about the spirits the more I learn about what it is to BE a spirit and the more I learn about their nature and the reflection thereof in their Creator. Just my hopeful belief
Four days later… I kept on meaning to comment to your guys’ posts but I either didn’t have the time or totally forgot. I got on my laptop so be prepared for a very, very lengthy response. I’m going to try to get all of you guys at the same time.
Haha, love you Incide!
[quote=“DeathWish, post:3, topic:8065”]I believe all demons must submit to the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Can I hear an Amen ladies and gentleman?
Thanks for sharing ashtkerr, an interesting experience you have had.[/quote]
DeathWish, this is an interesting position, especially concerning the forum we’re on, but I do agree with you. And you’re welcome I guess, if I didn’t share it was going to eat me up inside.
[quote=“Enlightener_Illuminator, post:4, topic:8065”]ashtkerr, do you realize that dreams may be influenced by whatever spirits want you to believe? Some “mystics” had visions of Hell and say they saw Catholic priests and popes there. Others also had visions of Hell but insist Catholicism is the true religion. All of that may be bull!
Oh… And some of them saw “homosexuals” and “witches” in Hell… It’s all a plot by spirits of Jehovah to lure people into believing in him as well as thinking and living a certain way…[/quote]
Enlightener_Illuminator, this may be a possibility, and it’s something I’ve considered. One thing that I’ve continuously considered is the biblical concept of τιμῆς ἠγοράσθητε (ti-mays ay-goh-rahs-thay-tay) “You were bought at a price”, and so it’s the concept of in ancient times you would buy a slave. Paul calls himself a bondslave of Christ, and he declares that all who are called by Christ are slaves to him also. And the imagery of the good shepherd, yes the sheperd loves his sheep and lays his life down for them, but that’s because the sheep belong to him, they are his property. And so, since I willingly baptized myself, part of me wonders if God is protective of me because I’m his property.
In the words of the Blessed Virgin, “Here am I, the bondservant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.”
That said, I would agree, there would definitely be Catholic priests and popes in Hell, as well as homosexuals and witches. Being a Catholic, not even the Pope, does not necessary protect you from the punishment of Hell if you’re not walking properly.
[quote=“Cogitation, post:5, topic:8065”]Are the dreams intermingled with normal dreams? Can you detail his theological answers to your inquires, or was it more “In the dream it really felt profound emotionally, like he had answered this specific question, but I cant recall quite how, only that it I knew he did.” kind of thing.
If you are experiencing Jesus in a fashion that he is answering concretely, directly, and in a way you feel you could not self-fabricate, you should probably let us in on what the bloke is saying![/quote]
Cogitation, yes, I remember his answers. As I said in the original post, after I woke up I even wrote some things to check them out with the historical record and they lined up.
So, first he went through the doctrinal issues I was having and he said, “When we state the law, we do not state the exceptions. You know that it is written in sacred scripture, ‘All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,’ correct? Well, when we speak of the law we don’t state the exceptions. Have I sinned and have I fallen short of the glory of God?”
I responded, “No, of course not, you are the spotless lamb, without touch of sin.”
J: “And what of my mother, has she sinned and fallen short of the glory of God?”
A: “No, she was divinely protected by you and has been without sin since her conception.”
J: “And what of John, my cousin, has he sinned and fallen short of the glory of God?”
A: “Yes?”
J: “No, he was purified in my aunt’s womb, when he was filled the Spirit and leaped because he was in my presence. He has not sinned, nor fallen short of the glory of God. (I checked this out, and this is traditional Catholic teaching.) Now, you quote from Pope Benedict VIII where he states that every creature must subject themselves to the Pope to be saved. However, when we state the law, we don’t state the exceptions. In the time of the western schism there was a man named St. Vincent Ferrer, he believed that the anti-pope in Avignon was the true pope, tell me, if he died before the schism was resolved, would he have gone to hell?”
A: “This is not my judgement to make, this is yours.”
J: “You are right to say that this is my judgement, and I will tell you my judgement, he would not be damned for this. And you continuously state that man can only enter the Church by baptism through water. Yet, when we state the law, we do not state the exceptions. My mother was not baptized during her life, was she then not a member of the Church?”
A: “Of course not, she is the mother of the Church.”
J: “Correct. When we state the law, Ashton, we do not state the exceptions.”
After we started talking about the historical component. There’s a lot of stuff that he said here, and this is the majority of what we talked about. Basically, all the things I saw as problems were God regaining the worship due to him and inspiring true doctrine and belief. Also, a lot of the Old Testament stories are mostly meant to be character sketches of God, the ancient Hebrews didn’t have the same mindset as us when it comes to “truth” and so, whether or not the Exodus or the Flood or the Eden story happened is not the point of the stories, but what is being revealed about the character of God and men through these stories. There’s a lot of stuff we talked about, and I don’t feel like copying it all, this post is already going to be very long already.
[quote=“Mephistor, post:6, topic:8065”]Follow what you Feel is Right for you, at all time, If you Feel that Being a Christian is Right for you at the Moment, Do it, I believe there is no Wrong Way or Path, but that each person have is own Path, Since i Believe Reality is Subjective, not Objective.
As For changing your Mind often, It Happened to me A LOT in the Past so i know what your living, I am still Looking for new and Fresh Knowledge, but now, since i have found my Path in the Left Hand Path, Its always stay in these Category, But I can Definitly Understand what your Living.
Best Regards![/quote]
Mephistor, thank you for your encouraging words.
[quote=“Flame, post:7, topic:8065”]Do not try to force him or something like that. I think that we all should respect his opinion and the path he chose as final (probably). I personally stand for a freedom and if your choice is giving you some sort of freedom feel free to stay there. I see religions as big limitation to humankind but again, it’s just my point of view, none share the same opinions. All what I can tell you is, if you feel comfortable and free in that path, just go for it and listen your feelings but if you still feel confused in some way, try to clean your head a bit, do some more research and then decide for final step.
UPDATE: @Mephistor, gave you the answer which I was writing and he posted it just few seconds before me and I must say that I agree with him.
~ Flame[/quote]
Flame, thank you, I appreciate your kind words.
[quote=“defectron, post:9, topic:8065”]Jesus is a being that I consider to be an allie of mine, as in w e both want to take the world in a certain direction, but there are alot of things about him you and most other people don’t know so I’m not sure how much I would trust that. In any caser since he’s an freind of mine I won’t get in the way of whatever he’s doing with you for better or worst.
One thing though and I’m completely serious here, if Jesus shows up again ask him if he is freinds with the alien named Cahft this woman talks about on her page and if he can introduce you to him if he is http://www.heidihollis.com/Alien_War.php
Now to everyone here alot of what heidi talks about seems to be nonsense and alot of it is imo, but I won’t get into that here. The important thing is the cahft entity is real, if this is actually jesus, something interesting should happen if you ask him what I suggested.[/quote]
defectron, I appreciate this info. I feel like there are three reactions when I tell people that I have visions of Jesus generally, especially in the Church. First and most common, is they think I’m mentally insane and sort of treat me with “safety gloves” so to speak. Second is they are apathetic about the knowledge and don’t treat me any differently because of it, my spiritual director, who’s also my parish pastor, has this reaction. And third, and the least common, is they become extremely interested in my gifts and continually give me things they want me to ask Jesus about.
That said, I will definitely ask Jesus about Cahft next time I see him, if I remember.
Kenneth, thank you for your words of consolation, I appreciate you.
[quote=“Lilith, post:11, topic:8065”]Hey, Ashton
I respect your choice and your feelings. I had a very interesting experience with Jesus while I was in a very difficult situation.
I appreciate you saying this, it takes guts to do that
Also, I would like to read what Jesus has told you, if you would like to share, but if not, I understand that also.
Good luck, and I hope you stay on this forum.[/quote]
Lilith, thank you, I appreciate it. I already replied to Cogitation’s comment, where they asked about what Jesus said, and I gave the initial script. I do plan of sticking around on the forum, I just don’t know how active I’ll be.
[quote=“Frater Dark Matter, post:12, topic:8065”]Not to worry. with the historical evidence Deepening- or shall we say Lack of it. and if somehow they can prove he existed. he was in the "Many come and many go—by way of the cross gang [because he will be seen riding a pink unicoorn on the old “push me/Pull you” design, jesus will very likely be a demoniphile also- and resembling anything christian would be a good thing. because historical fact time. back in would be jebus day- a “Christian” was a part of the “throw the roman bums out” Military leader messianic general movement. the story in the nt which would be lhpers try so stridently to anathematise was largely the creation of paul via marcion.
ChristIanity- was a roman creation to subdue the many radi jew cult who could never let a fart go by without killing a cop- kinda like things are getting here? Go ahead and experiance jesus, and when I see you leading a crowd to throw a human wave upon a sorry police ready for riot battle- then I know you got the right spirit.[/quote]
Frater Dark Matter, while I don’t understand much of what you sad, there’s a lot there to unpack. I will secede that one of the biggest reasons that we have St. Paul in the New Testament is definitely because of Marcion’s influence, even though he was a heretic.
I do see the anti-Roman rhetoric hidden in the Greek New Testament, because I can read Greek and I know history, unfortunately, not many Christians can or do either. Jesus was called Kyrios, so was Caesar; Jesus was proclaimed to be divine, so was Caesar; Jesus was proclaimed to be God in the flesh, so was Caesar; the Evangelion (Good News or Gospel) of Jesus is well known; but back then the Evangelion of Caesar was better known; etcetera. That said, considering many early Christian were Romans, and St. Peter established his bishopric in Rome itself, I don’t think the early Christians were so antagonistic.
Not sexy? Are you sure about that?
I mean, just look at this clearly photorealistic image of a middle eastern man who lived 2000 years ago
[quote=“Lady Eva, post:14, topic:8065”]Ash, it’s my opinion that you have impressive amounts of integrity and moral courage and I can’t begin to imagine the difficulties you’ve faced with the apparent dichotomy between your self and the teachings of Christianity. I’ve had a very easy life by comparison, at least all my ducks line up in a row! :o)
I hope that what you have works, and I know you deserve to find harmony.
(And if you do decide to come back to the dark side… we have cookies, and I hear rumours of pudding. :D)
If anyone (Ash included) wants to start a debate thread, the White Magick: Right Hand Path forum is the ideal place to do it, that way folks won’t feel preached at in General and it’s for the crossover between religion and magick, practicing magick within any religious context from Asatru to Islam, including questions and debates about how that works for anyone. :)[/quote]
Thank you Lady Eva, you’re the best. Thank you for the high praise. That debate between my sexuality and my religion is an ever going inner struggle. But, I can’t not know what’s right and not practice it. I am compelled to do what I know to be right, even if I don’t want to. And even when it hurts, especially when it hurts.
But, I’ll stick with the light side here where we can see what we’re eating.
jboy, I’ve seen to many things to ever thing that Christianity is fake, even when I’m not a Christian, I have an occult appreciate for Christianity, because things happen in this religion. I’ve watched miracles happen, I’ve seen miracles be caused by me, I’ve watched people be instantaneously healed when I placed my hands on them and prayed, I’ve seen impossible situations changed. And my gift of visions definitely helps with that faith. But, I’m sorry you’re so disillusioned with life.
Paulden, that is a very interesting belief, thank you for sharing it with me. I hope things work out well for you in the end.
Well, I just have to say that I’m ashamed at how surprised that you guys are so accepting and supportive. Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment on this post, and I hope I was successful in answering everyone properly.
where we can see what we’re eating.