Am I cursed?

My life is falling apart in all areas and has been for nearly all my life…anyone willing to give a peak in my aura/essence (I give permission lol) will see how majorly an issue this has become. I thought I had a calling to magic since I was a kid but now I doubt my whole existence because no god or demon sees me through my darkest hours of begging for help (yes I know something is constantly there but that’s far from enough, evenmore so if it’s there and does nothing while watching me in so much pain…). Spells or magic has taken me only so far but nothing tangible enough to cause great change in my life . I don’t know why I’m attracting or getting so much persecution, yet from the beginning I sought out to be a good person. I tried to understand the world, and I see I don’t understand anything at all. In my search the adept seem to treat me like a simpleton and unworthy, yet why did a spirit let me feel it’s presence as a child or experience a NDE, (which by the way the voice ask me if I “I wanted to go to the good and live or go to the bad and die” whatever that meant…) but all I know my life has been nonstop seer hell of one sort another to the point I don’t know how to make it straight in any shape or form, a sheer mockery to sociaty and to myself . If anyone here can search or help me in the spiritual realm to affect my life right now or give advice or connect to me to remedy or send good vibes or legions of help i would be very greatful, I’m open and willing to see a change, or if this really works, because in the physical predicaments realistically nothing is changing, if I dare say only getting worse. So before you judge me for being negative or whatnot, give a so called spirtual peak what I’ve gone through and you might give a jolt…, if not you might not get what I’m talking about at all. So if there is anything that can help quickly and efficiently please send my way or an explanation as to why this is happening! !!!
Power and happiness and hope you all find what you seek.


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We live in a harsh world. I’m in the struggle too. Gota get money. Kinda sucks but money is what it’s all about.


Well, I suppose that depends on what you think money is. And yes, that is full of friendly bias, a loaded question if you will. I’m just saying that that is a perspective that sets a very low bar for “it”, whatever "it"might be to have everything be all about it.

But I will in no way deny the usefulness of money in these times.

To the OP: who knows why any of this horrible shit happens to us? The real question is what can you do with it? I’m talking internal alchemy. From what you are laying down, that is what I am picking up. What is the point of surviving hardship if you cannot or will not use the knowledge you gain from it, while at the same time challenging the knowledge you gain from it?

I’m getting a chromatic sensation of blue, btw. Getting blue off of a lot of people today.

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Daemons don’t like begging for starters, they usually ignore that kind of thing. You have to tell them what you want but don’t be a demanding ass about it; they want to see you have the will power and guts to control your own life.
Can’t tell you why it happening but have you ever sat down with a sigil and opened one? Spirits, I’ve noticed, might let you know they are there but don’t do much more if you don’t take action or take the initiative to contact them.
I don’t think you’re being negative, i think you just need a different approach, that’s what helped me and this forum is full of that lol.

Another question:
Do you know grounding, warding and shielding? These three things can do wonders for smaller, irksome spirits that can be drawn to us naturally. These also can help against some practitioners.


Milbirnie, No peek is required, or necessary, as this glint might merely befuddle and confound the senses of the one who peeks and the one who seeks. This bewilderment will only lead to a misapprehension drooped in a pool of delusion.

However, I decided to take a peek when i heard caws while going through your post, which i will share, but,You must not take my word for that which really is or that which is not, for you, must test everything, and take what your soul needs out of the little that was given.

Dark and brown robes they wore, as they stood like kings, and watched your lobes like a well-paid guard. Ten, they are, quietly leading you through the path of fire, a path, you gladly agreed to, the path of transformation you’ve always wanted. Your breath is like fire, which will eventually consume you, it will and must destroy you, for your soul desperately yearns to rise from the ashes of your old and gross self.

Little you can do about it, but this little, is more than enough for that which is in place for you.

Whatever you do, Make sure waiting or hoping for a golden and terrible god or a magnificent and powerful demon to give you a helping hand isn’t included.


Your right when it comes to demons things got to be said firmly i also heard that one from E.A.Koetting on his video.
The main grounding i do is the one where you connect to the centre of earth and then to the heavens and bring it down to expand the energy around; shielding I suppose is the part where one cloaks oneself/protective bubble. … warding, do you mean like saging, - or is there anything else you would recommend for warding grounding and shielding? I’ve done walking barefoot , salt etc baths, or connecting to trees (i love trees :blush:)- but somehow I think I’m not grounded enough? So how can I ward more? Also I got some black tourmaline, seems to be a calming and appropriate. … but it all seems like trinkets against the bigger picture.

That was good, did you quote a book or did you write that?

Correct. They will even convince you to fight for your own survival.


Calling the Earth element can help you ground if you’re having trouble.
For Warding, think more of setting up protections around you, your home, etc. You can use sigils by all entrances (windows included). One woman I watched used small mirrors facing out in every window. Warding is like locking your door.

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So what ‘should’ be included?
What is it that I need to end the process?
Way to long way too much…