Altruism - is it just an illusion?

As the title says:

How are your experiences with Altruism,
and does it really work for anyone you know?




I’m not sure. There are a number of people I know who are always ready to tell the world just how good of a person they are, but in truth their ‘hospitality’ or ‘charity’ seems reserved for a select few.

On the other hand I see that a so called lack of ‘altruism’ is being used as a way to make people feel guilty, and to push them to make certain ‘correct’ decisions.

The motto of ‘treat others the way you want to be treated’ and the similar but different ‘treat others the way they treat you’ are always a good guide to live by.
If altruism was truly practiced the world certainly wouldn’t be like it is today.


Not good. I always prided in being Good and ready to give a helping hand when needed. But was used in return. So being good isn’t the right thing always, it can make one a pushover . At the same time I take pride in helping those who doesn’t even know that I fixed their life. So I guess if One helps others without any expectation of anything in return and also without letting them know that they can use or vamp on you, that’s the best way.

Generally I policy now is to just watch the show and pass on. No need to be a cheerleader or medic.


That’s so very true. It was actually part of both times I did Shadow work. Helping people who don’t want to help themselves is futile. I used to get obsessed about helping a person and each time it went sideways.
The obsession doesn’t happen anymore, but in my recent shadow work it was made very clear that I was still “picking up strays”.
I now I carefully watch out what these people are doing to help themselves. Often they won’t take responsibility for the choices they made but blame others. I often hear they didn’t have a choice. If they feel they are victims of circumstances, they won’t help themselves.
And yeah, I pretty much stopped helping out financially. The old saying ‘no good deed goes unpunished’ is very true.
But then I also had to realize my part in enabling them.


Ohhh, that’s some hardcore stuff. Yea, you just grow up knowing that there are just something which can be fixed by the person itself. Any ways , Mother Terese got the Noble Prize just cuz of PR push. She was in reality more vicious than many Black Magicians. I doubt all this GOOD work hardly matters in the Bigger Picture.


Yes, heard the same about Mother Theresa, It was her way or the highway. I’ve also learned through shadow work that my own unconscious blockages and insecurities lead me to help people who wouldn’t help themselves, because, subconsciously again, I was insecure and I guess trying to save these people was a way to feel better and stronger about myself. I had been practicing magic for about 10 years but neglected the “know thyself”. Only after Lilith picked me up, pushed me into shadow work and literally tore my life apart, did I become aware of these insecurities.
They were hidden deeply, I certainly felt confident. I fought her tooth and nail. Now I know that’s why she kept throwing more and more stuff in my way, until I was finally willing to listen and take advice.
I have no idea why she put up with me, but I love and respect her for being persistent.
Then she helped me put everything together the right way. She’s been my Matron ever since.
But these shadows are sneaky, they can come back in a milder form. So in my second shadow work, it was easier for me to see and accept that they needed to be dealt with again. It’s easy to fall into complacency.
And I completely agree, if I help someone now, they won’t find out. This way I know I’m not helping for ego gratification.


Well, people act on self interest. That doesn’t mean people don’t act to help others. It’s just you shouldn’t expect.


I don’t know if it’s an illusion or not, but it is hella self-destructive in more ways than one can imagine.
As a former people-pleasure, I know it fucking sucks and I have to admit that being a pussy and having fucked up self-esteem and fear of literally everything (including the fear of making people unhappy) was a huge factor that I was helping people who didn’t even appreciated me and I was always putting others’ needs above mine. Maybe it was thoroughly fucked in my subconscious mind that I’m not worthy of anything.

I still have some tiny people-pleasing mentality and many times I contemplate doing some random acts of kindness, like offering my seat to others on public transportation, giving money to street beggars and I also feel bad for people living on the streets but why the fuck feel bad for them when most of them will not even think twice before verbally abusing me, threatening me and even hurting me grievously for silly reasons?
Why feel bad for someone that would literally kill you for money to buy drugs or alcohol?
Why should I offer my seat to a pregnant or an old woman or literally anyone who would not even appreciate it and take me for granted, in worst case scenario they will even feel “offended” and would shame me in front of everybody?

Why help others who refuse to help themselves and treat you like a jinn in a lamp?



Even though someone may choose self sacrifice and to worry more about other people than the closest one, years ago I realized that the more problems I have and the less should I think about those of other persons. The risk would also be that of helping people for a short time… And anyway reaching a “better” position would allow for effective actions.

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I’m quite altruistic by nature; I’m always looking around seeing if people are okay and have the ability for self-sacrifice if I gotta go out on a limb and help someone it’ll be from the heart. World needs helping hands and love not a whole lotta “fall behind get left behind” crap.

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Don’t forget to realise that being generous when altruistic comes with boundaries. Many people were in your position and suck at it because they’re playing the Mr. Nice Guy role then have a bunch of self pity afterwards when the world wasn’t as fair as they expected them to.

I’m likeable, approachable but also in command — people listen when I speak and they’ll never double-cross me. They’ll take my word of advice to go do something rather than me running around trying to save the world. You simply can’t. Some call this “compassionate detachment”, showing your regard for their situation, rubbing their shoulder and say “it’ll be okay, maybe go figure this one out yourself”.

The world requires more patience especially for the disabled, elderly and one’s who haven’t caught up with the pace of society. The only time you’re suppose to be looking down is if you’re helping someone else… but if it’s an enemy, sure go crush it. :slight_smile:


Everything in duality is an illusion but…illusions are real experiences. Altruism can work quite well–better than the scarcity mentality–but it really depends on how altruism is interpreted by the individual. Self-deprecation of the individual to altruistic is generally not recommended: much better to “better” the individual who in turn, whether directly or indirectly, “betters” the collective.


I used to be extremely altruistic, and would give away way too much from myself. Lots of people noticed this energy on me and used me (I allowed them to use me).

Since I got seriously ill two years ago (but also the years before that I was changing) I have changed completely. I had to release loads and loads of grief, and then learned that “helping” someone often isn’t really helping someone. Often, It is allowing that person to stay stuck in its destructive patterns.

Having lots of grief blocked inside of you, is what can cause you to become too altruistic, and not seeing the truth of what you’re doing; that your helping is in fact damaging yourself and the person you think you’re helping.

I was always thinking: this or that guy or girl is in a bad place, so I HAVE to help him/her (no matter what’s the cause of him being in that situation). I felt sorry for him/her, and couldn’t say no because I felt perfectly fine that the person would be sad if I would say no. Because of my own stuck grief, I couldn’t live with causing grief in them. It was just too painful.

So, eventually I learned I had let my parents and brothers abuse me. I was working hard, setting up companies and allowed them, extremely naive, to confiscate the profits. Eventually over 200,000 euro was drained from me.

Then, two years ago, when I really felt it wasn’t good what had happened, and I told them it wasn’t good at all what I had done, what I had allowed them to do, they completely didn’t understand anything of what I said. I had also lent my youngest brother over 6500 euro, for him to start his company, and had him sign a contract. Then I learned that the day his shop closed, he already made up his mind that he would never pay me back. Even worse, he took the remaining stock (which he had paid for with my money) to his house and unwrapped all the Playstations and games and started to play with it. No intention whatsoever to pay anything back.

So, by “helping” my parents and brothers they were able to not take responsability for over 10 years and just let me bring in the money. They had turned into (or probably already were) leaches. Worse, later on I felt they had been vampirizing me energetically for decades, my father and youngest brother. Luckily I felt this at some point, and was able to rip out the tentacles. As above, as below: if you see strange/damaging patterns in real life, you will often also see comparable patterns in the energetic world. In this case my family taking my money (which is like solidified chi/creativity) and in the energetic world them taking my chi.

My conclusion is that the only way to really help someone is to help a person who is really willing to learn, and who wants to improve himself, and then learning him/her how to help himself. In most cases giving people money or working for free for them isn’t helping at all, it’s damaging them and yourself, and allowing them to remain in their damaging and self-destructive life patterns. Key is to learn them to take responsibility for their own lives and help them develop some skills to do that.