I started practicing magick and working with different entities and they have helped me realize I haven’t been myself and lying to myself. But I just don’t know where to go from here. My life is falling apart…can anyone relate?
Yeah. What did u learn
Take a look at what’s falling apart. Then ask yourself if those things are what you really wanted or needed? Or if they were holding you back? Or if other opportunities presented themselves. Things that you want or need but couldn’t because something else is or was in the way.
I can relate. When we strip away all the masks and blinders we had been wearing our whole life it is hard to cope with. Mentally and emotionally we have to figure out what fits, who we are and what has meaning any more. This life is one of growth and change. We can not merely sit and just be led theough it any more. Now we are awake and in the drivers seat.
It can be a bit of hard going through this existential crisis of who am i and what do I wnt to be when i grow up again. (Couldn’t think of any other way to put it! I’m sorry!) But you will get through it. Decorate your life with the things that have meaning, will benefit you in the end and that bring you joy. Now it’s time to be the creator and not just live in someone else’s idea of who you should be and what your life should look like. Take it one day at a time and trust yourself. You ARE awesome and powerful.
Sounds like the draconian path to me !
You’re being forged in the fire of the dragon and it’s burning away all the falsehoods in your life
Good job !
I guess your right thanks for encouragement. Somethings are hard to see and what to do about them. They are showing me my husband’s faults as well as mine and it’s driving me crazy. He’s not a bad person but I’m seeing he may be too feminine for me and not strong enough. We have a child together and good life , I’d hate to give that up because of this. Work too . I need my job but getting to point where I can barely stand those people. I completed this ritual book of Soul Retrieval and everything has changed.
Did it suggest renouncing attachments or rising above them?
No I don’t recall it saying this
That’s good, because that kind of thing can backfire.
Right I could see how it would. Thank you
Take the sixteenth key of the major arcana. This called the Awakening. Also called the Blasted Tower. This message indicates that there must be destruction before reconstruction.
I lost a lot of furniture and stuff, and have had a rough period of life. Then there were earthquakes, floods, wildfires. These were people affected by those that lost absolutely everything they had and held in high esteem, even loved ones. All of it gone in a matter of hours to days. Then I realized I really lost little to nothing where I thought it was everything.
For some reason Kali or Shiva come to mind. In chaos there’s order, in darkness there’s light.
Meditate on these and meditate on what the difference is between losing everything due to being controlled by a substance, vs nature taking it all away from you.
With great respect, I disagree - magicians control nature, we choose what is given, we don’t allow random chance to take things like that.
Core shamanism goes the route of bowing too far to the “let things go” route, but real lives get fucked up, real traumas occur, which then (ker-ching) results in more clients for soul-retrieval and healing, of course. I’m not even being cynical, just stating the facts.
My opinion is that magick is innately destabilising, will throw you into mindsets and mental/emotional states that wouldn’t ordinarily occur, and that if you react to each one by taking dramatic action to dispose of relationships, you’ll end up alone and on the streets, pushing a shopping cart full of “power objects” (cunningly disguised as meaningless trash) and muttering to yourself.
Ride this out, it will pass, think of it like the way your home looks weird when you get back from a long holiday.
Oh wow dude, i feel you. This year is going to end with a total transformation of my life. Everything is burning down around me now that I’ve gotten serious for the first time in years, and I’m terrified and excited all at once. I am probably going to emerge with nothing and burn a lot of bridges behind me that probably didn’t even need to be burned.
Some say there is power in betraying someone who trusts you. If that is so, then I have truly taken a step on the path to godhood. Hephaestus have mercy on me, and Odin bring me the peace of fervor.
Right I feel it could be huge mistake to throw away healthy relationships because of a few imperfections but I find myself getting angry then looking for apts. Frustrating…I do love magick tho and would not go back even if I could to the way I was before .
I will only observe that there is NO limit on the amount of things in your life that magick can consume, will ATTEMPT to consume, and that you can get a high from destroying all manner of things, until the “sunk cost” fallacy rides you so hard that to question a course of actions so heartily embarked upon, and which carries such a high cost, prevents your psyche from questioning taking it to the utmost extents.
If so, please choose a shopping trolley without squeaky wheels!
But I am in deadly earnest here, I’ve seen people, especially women, go this route and end up so utterly screwed, it was painful to watch. PLEASE be careful with the bridge burning, the smoke is intoxicating, and that’s not a good state to make further decisions on.
I agree. My first introduction to the path (the Grimore of Tiamat) completely changed my point of view just from reading it. Of course I think magic in general forces you to be a little more honest and open with yourself and others because it changes you on a psychological level once you have a “it works!” or “eureka!” moment.
Thank you, this is just what I needed to hear
I still feel this way, even more so. It went away but came back. I can’t be with him anymore. We have nothing in common, he watches stupid tv shows and doesn’t know how to fix anything. It’s like living with a chick. I need masculine energy…I’m craving masculinity. There’s an imbalance here. ahhhhh!!! There’s no one else, I just want to be alone so I don’t have to pretend to like sex when it’s finally been so long I feel obligated to do it. What is happening to me…damn.
Okay what is Masculine to you?
I personally don’t see someone liking tv shows and not being good at fixing things as being Feminine.
What do you like that he doesn’t and have you spoken to him, tried to work out an issue?
If I never spoke to my husband about big or little issues that came up we wouldn’t still be together.
I’m not one to say, you gotta stay when you don’t want too but just make sure you see the whole picture.
I’ve gone through the fire once years ago and plan on going through again with Belial and Azazel but one thing I came out the first time with was a certainty on husband and blood family issues so I have already gotten past that part to take the next step.
I guess OP still needs to go through that first part but it isn’t always leaving that’s the answer. @Chakraless_magick, good luck on this, you’ll come out on top.