Advice/venting

Well I need some advice lol, i started off learning about all this and decided to practice in left hand magic, and learning and making pacts with the goetia spirits. My temple and everything I had for them sigils papers, notes everything I had was thrown away since I went to the hospital since I tried taking my life, and the new tenets and homeowner(which is also family) threw them away. Personally I don’t mind they think of me differently because of what I practice and it won’t stop me from learning more, just I don’t know how to ask for forgiveness since there was certain things I asked the goetia spirits to do and I would return yet since I got kicked out my house it’s kinda hard lol. There’s only one thing I want and at this point I’m willing to sacrifice whatever it is to get it, and I truly mean whatever it takes. It’s not to far fetched like a billion dollars or having a celebrity fall in love with me. Lucifer has been on my mind a lot more and his sigil is something I seem to get drawn back to so it’s a good sign to me at least. There’s just one thing I only want to ask him yet And I want to return so much in exchange for his help. Yet I know It doesn’t work overnight. And since my candles and everything got thrown away and I had to move in with certain people I kinda can’t have a certain place/area to be alone to talk to him.

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Build an astral temple in your imagination, and talk to Lucifer there. To anyone on the outside it will simply look like you’re meditating.

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Would I also need to astral project or just visualize everything and meditate from there? I know I shouldn’t except everything like now now now. And that’s something I’m trying to fix yet having trouble with.

Damn, so one could really build a space in there imagination.

“Doing things” in imagination is basically doing them in the astral realm?
How would one go about evoking a diety or spirit in there imagination aka astral realm? I think this is also known as astral evocation.

No, you don’t need to project. The astral is basically the realm of the imagination, and it overlaps the physical, so you are, technically, always in the astral. You’re just not fully conscious of it.

Yes, you would visualise the space to look like whatever you want. It usually takes a few tries to keep everything solid and make sure it doesn’t change, but the more you enter the space, the more solid it becomes.

@rpont340 You would perform rituals in the astral the same way you would in the physical. You can create whatever you need.

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Anything I can offer I know it’s just in the astral there’s a desire I really really want and I want to give him whatever he wants and I’m willing to give everything just for it. I want to offer him something yet since it’s just in my astral wouldn’t it be less meaningful since it’s not physical?

You can give astral offerings, yes. It would essentially be an offering of energy.

Why don’t you just do as I said, and build the temple, and invite Lucifer in to talk? He will tell you what he may want in return. Maybe he will ask you to do something for him in the physical, like publicly praise him, or to hide his seal in a library book, or in a local mall.

It doesn’t cost you anything to invite him in to chat.

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I just have to have his sigil in my thoughts right?

No.

Evoke him in your temple.

This is your astral space so you can do whatever you want. Carve his seal into the floor and ignite it with blazing fire. Have banners of crimson draping your temple with his seal emblazoned on them in gold.

Be creative. Use your imagination.

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This might sound silly, but how would I know if he heard or accepted my request?

This is interesting.

How about more complex sigils? I have an awful visual memory and can only memorize the most basic mix of lines.

If you are evoking him in an astral temple, that will not be a problem.

I don’t know in the past I felt a presence when I had an actual physical place, now i don’t feel/sense anything.

Remember, the astral is all in your head, and you create the forms, so you can easily feel whatever you want.

Lucifer is everywhere, you don’t need to create a sacred space for him. A walk through the park or even a filthy bathroom stall with a piss soaked floor and profanity written on the walls with permanent marker in a men’s room truckstop off the freeway can be a sacred space to Lucifer. It’s all about your perspective. And please don’t try to hurt yourself again, we still love you.

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Thank you I really appreciate it, lol I don’t want to get in trouble for going off topic it’s i want to have a stronger connection to him yet stuff happed with I just got homeless and my mom even told me to kill myself and I’m struggling. Lol but I can’t stop thinking about him which to me that’s why I want to know more.