Advice for my first real summoning in 35 years

Okay, I have been into Witchcraft and always drawn towards the dark side my entire life. When I was 14 oh, I found a book by Sybil leek and in it she talked about summoning and making packs. It was a book called The Naked witch. Now I was young and kind of desperate looking for magic as a cure-all to myself image oh, I wanted to change the way I looked everything about me. So anyways, I cast a circle I summoned a demon I signed the pact in blood and in my mind’s eye I seen the spirit. He appeared to me as a very tall wild hog with a human face and multiple eyes and also had very large tusks like an elephant. I was at the time very emotionally unstable I would say because I had been the victim of child sexual abuse for years at the hands of my now-deceased father. I was looking for power so I didn’t feel like a victim anymore, I wanted control over my life if that makes any sense. Anyways for many years oh, that night the visions of the entity that I conjured haunted me I was afraid of the dark I would close my eyes and I would still see the entities lingering around me and hovering around my bed and on the periphery of my vision. Fast forward in time three decades I’m now nearing my 50th birthday and I am totally drawn towards summoning Azazel but yet the lingering trauma of that night so many years ago when I summoned something still persists. I feel like Azazel has been with me my entire life I’ve seen entities, my sister is seeing them and so is my oldest daughter, they followed me and persist through the years watching me, kind of guiding me in a way I think to this moment in time where I live feel like I’m now ready but I’m still hesitant. So I would like to know if there’s like any advice any of the more practiced evokers could give me in performing my first real a vocation and such a long time, one that won’t Ike Stirrup old emotional wounds I should say and make me go insane.

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What’s the name of the demon you first evoked?
Did he fulfilled the pact?
Take it easy! don’t jump into things when you’re not fully emotionally prepared for what you might experience.
I suggest to do theta healing
And shedding past traumas ,because what you feel is what you might end up manifesting
And if it’s fear…good luck.

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Why not start with evoking an angel and work your way up to a demon like Azazel.

Slava Bogum

Yeah, I thought, Oh I’m so skeptical, these entities won’t really show up, and I will keep thinking its all in my head and results are just coincidence. Demons showing themselves out side ritual, oh no, that won’t happen to me, I’m too much of a skeptic. Well, I was wrong. There are ways to banish and make the visual effects go away. But it appears the effects on mundane reality are more or less permanent.
I would like to remind you that just because a demon looks scary doesn’t mean they want to harm you. You shouldn’t let your fear get the best of you.

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