I’m starting on my second week using the BALG system and I have experienced more strange things with magick in this last week than I ever have in my entire life combined. Hard to explain unless you are experiencing it yourself, but I feel like the mundane world around me does not matter anymore. I hardly notice other people and things that used to bother me very badly. It’s like I am in my own little bubble focused solely on magick, ancient mysteries, forbidden knowledge, quantum physics, liberal arts, etc. Like my mind is telling me I should only focus on highly intellectual things that the ignorant majority seem to find boring and confusing. I never have been a big tv watcher, I think I watch about 6 hours of tv per year. But I have been sucked into a whirlwind, thinking more out of the box than ever before. Like my I.Q. just shot up from 144 to 180 something.
This is not a bad thing. I am still able to get my chores and adult responsibilities done but in between I am devoted solely to drawing, making music, and studying. For the longest time, I put my art and music on the back burner convinced I could do no greater than what I already was capable of but upon picking it back up in the last few days, my artistic and musical skills are better than I ever thought they could be. I wanted to make a devotional drawing for a specific demon but I said, I want this to be flawless, there’s no point in drawing this if I’m just gonna be unhappy with it as usual. Something said, go ahead and draw it, you’ll be fine. Sure enough, it turned out amazing and from that point on, every piece of art I have drawn has been amazing compared to what it used to look like.
But the more I remain in my little bubble, the more understanding I have for everything around me, the more content I become with my emotions, the more intent I become on setting my goals and dreams into motion! I feel like I am no longer separate from the world, like I am part of it, meshed with it if you can understand what I mean by that. Very odd indeed. My reality does not feel the same as it did a few weeks ago but the way I feel now is almost like being in a manic trance like state, I feel high 24/7. These feelings can only be described as magickal. I feel like I am transforming into something else, something greater than my usual self. Again, possibly in relation to that awakening feeling I had the other day. Not sure what’s really going on.