I introduced myself a few hours ago. In that post I specifically mentioned that I would be taking a more cautious approach to things.
I am here to say that I am evidently full of it.
I have a fascination with Lilith and have since my research started. She was there at the start, or so I’m led to believe. And I’ve had so many questions for her and about her. It’s a little unnatural how taken I am with the idea of her. I would also like to say that my interest was in no way sexual. The idea? Maybe. But my intent was simply to spend time with her and build up to a level of communication.
Maybe 20 minutes ago I felt a strong urge to call her and so I did. There was nothing more than brief meditation and a saying of her name out loud.
She answered and she didn’t particularly seem to care what I wanted from her. She wanted something from me. I really wish I had the words but I could feel her. Not physically, though there was intense arousal. The arousal aspect didn’t seem entirely targeted, if that makes sense. More incidental. This presence was almost maternal in nature. I apologized that I could not see her and got the distinct impression that I was to remain silent and still. I was simply there to experience this. I felt heavy, aroused, drained but in a good way. It’s like that feeling of cuddling a loved one. I felt too good to move but it was not a strictly physical sensation so I don’t know what to make of it.
Lasted maybe 5-10 minutes and it was over. I said thank you and now I just feel a bit groggy with a mild headache. I have no idea why, how, or what to do next. I don’t even know what to make of the experience. I just wanted to share.
Edit: I feel silly posting this and I don’t know why. The further I get away from the experience, the more I’m tempted to tell myself it was all in my head but it was so visceral… Weird.
Yes this was her as I feel, she shows weird ways of interacting and comes and goes as she pleases, once you connect with her more she will come around more and she is a very bubbly character let me tell ya lol
I thanked her for her time. Said she was always welcome. I just want to know her. Maybe she was giving me a test drive. Haha! It was a short but transforming experience. There was some apprehension on my end, to be honest. She shattered all doubt.
And @ngcreativity thank you for confirming. This is all still a lot to take in
@Marik I can’t wait! She can big me any time based off of that experience.
I’m looking forward to spending more time with her and really developing that connection. Though I could do without the mild headache right in my forehead. Lol
Lilith is a sweetie, She calls to Her own and guides us on our paths. Having worked with Lilith for awhile, I’ve noticed a fairly massive increase in erotic tendencies. Not just sex, but the act of caressing or holding someone, of expressing love. It’s my supposition that the headache on your part is a side-effect (for lack of a better convenient term) of your energy network being adjusted to facilitate your growth and spiritual interactions.
I find it a useful practice to meditate on Lilith whilst intoning Her enn in the lucky bow position or the full lotus position.
It seems like gods, goddesses, angels, demons, etc. need to tap out a message on our own wiring quite often and early on the question is how much facility there is available for that sort of communication.
One of the challenges I’ve had with this, and I think you’re to some degree voicing a similar frustration, is it can be difficult to sort out something that your anima as well as right-brain might be trying to work out using her as a symbol, and even when you’re pretty sure that the impulse is sufficient to be from an outside source it can be challenging to figure out whether that outside source is who or what it claims to be (we’re not used to the moral/intellectual equivalent of talking raccoons or squirrels typically which can boggle our intuitions when a parasite does show up) and even then when you’re pretty sure it’s accurate it’s tough to tell how much of the call got picked up or dropped. I do hear at least that practice makes better, and I’m willing to go with that.
For better or worse a lot of the path is learning to interpret messages, how much of a grain of salt to take them with. I had a pretty powerful vision one night that I’d actually be running into a Qliphotic adept as something like a teacher/partner and that I’d be meeting her IRL. I rolled my eyes a bit and felt rather switched off when I went out to a movie with a buddy the next day, a bank of synchronicities hit that lead us to a couple different restaurants (full parking lots except for one slot), and our waitress looked a fair amount like the woman I saw in my vision but I could equally tell there was no relation (the kind of artifacting Grant Morrison’s talked about). Part of why I actually stopped trying to manifest things is largely that - ie. a lot of work and preparation goes in, a bank of synchronicities and artifacts come out the other side, if you actually did want something it leaves you more annoyed, and if it’s just the alchemy of the experience of ritual (the salvageable up-side) you’re after there seem to be better ways to get that.
You sound like me when I finally had the chance to consort with my beloved lol I thought at first it was a dream but he told me it wasn’t and continue to talk with me through uhm small cute noises… She was showing you that she was there I haven’t spoken to her but she is known to give many signs of her self being present
She’s just awesome to be around. I feel like she’s more of a friend than anything. I’ve only written a petition to her as far as “working” with her. She mostly just hangs out with me. She has done me a few favors though and I appreciate her for that.
@MagickAndBreakz I resonated with this a lot. There is ample room for doubt, caution, and speculation. I’m definitely going to move forward because the only way to know is to seek. But I’ll be as patient as I can be. As far as assisting me, I’m happy to accept any and all guidance she may have for me but I believe the nature of our relationship is in her hands.
@bunny4cam I invited her into my dreams. I don’t often remember mine, unfortunately. But I’m sure if she has something to say, she’ll make it known. Signs are all I have for now. Your relationship sounds awesome though!
@ngcreativity Can you elaborate more on your experience? PM me. Lol I want to know everything.