So I’m honestly at my wits end here. Basically I feel like ok more like I “know” I’m married to someone already. Your probably asking who or how do I know? Let me start from the beginning.
It started when I was about three years old. I talked to a person that I couldn’t see. He seemed to be protective of me. But he was limited to what he could do at that time. Now who this was I don’t know. I just know this went far back before this life. Then the day came my mom decided to call in the bishop for a house blessing. Two others showed up and started. Then we got to my room, they opened the door but refused to take a step inside. The look on their faces was just pure terror. The immediately turned and said they were done and good bye. From that point on nothing to much happened. Then my mom decided to one day call up the church to question them of that day. One of the missionaries told my mom there was something definitely in that room that was big and he then said no more and hung up. Then my second boyfriend happened. I was happy and he was to. Our relationship would have lasted like in the movies with the two high school sweethearts and friends growing up and
Getting married but nope. I lost my virginity to him and all I felt was miserable and like a cheater and a whore. Then that’s when I called my curse began. Three months before we broke up my bf who was a family man type that goes to school get As and is a honest worker cheated in front of me in the car. I was in the back and his friend in the front. He held her hand as if I didn’t exist worst part is he acted like he didn’t do anything that day and still said he loved me and even wanted to have sex. We broke up around May. Then my next one lasted until a little before may then he had to move. My next one ended the same time but he wound up apologizing over and over all the sudden and ran out like a mad man. Then my most recent lasted about three years only because he was mostly a distance relationship going into the Air Force. But literally after the first time I saw him things were good but then he came and he literally just changed. He wound up becoming aggressive and then crying and going mad. Wound up finding out he just got told he had not one but three different mental illnesses and tried to kill him self. He went from a high IQ, logical cool minded person to that within a year or less.
Since then Iv been staying single and I know for a fact something is up. At first I thought it was a curse but now every time I think of these events I can’t help but to think I belong to someone already. Iv had this feeling for YEARS even when I was three. But now it’s to the point I just want answers.
So any idea or suggestions on how I can go about this? I just want answers to something that is literally putting a chastity belt on me or more like “You can have others but your still mine.” Type feel.