A message, questions, second awakening?

A few days 3 to be exact. I was slammed with the experience of going 0 to 120 and then slamming on the brakes all within say 7 seconds and all mentally in experience… since then I have experienced say a second or third awakening. Also these words where just there…

Depth of black, a spark a thought.
The world yet turns, the pieces move.
To silence the abyss, darkness keeps creeping.
To hold that spark, filled with essence.
Hope’s, dreams, faith.
Life has changed, what was stands not the same.
For is one spark, just one thought,
Is it enough.
Can it hold the tides at bay,
Can it move mountains,
Can it reach throughout the world,
For one spark, inspire.
Inspire those yet to come.
Turn this darkness aside,
Shine your light for all those to see.

I dont want to have an awakening again… I been ther it was not fun… I dint want to learn a new way of dealing with what once I could. It’s like my self from before now power amped to like 15 fold fro where it was… I am searching for answers of what and why this message and what with it means I need to be above where I was at … ???

Welcome @Nelson_Ragen It is a rule of this forum for all new members to properly introduce themselves, so PLEASE CLICK ON THE IMAGE BELOW and tell us about yourself and any experience you may have in magick, such as what you practice, how long you have practised, areas of itnerest, etc: