Yours was a quite deep and involved question and I was afraid that I’ll struggle with this. However the cards proved otherwise!
I would say that you’re quite involved in the occult and are particularly driven to achieve your ultimate goal.
You had a fixed idea how to achieve this and up to a point it appears to have worked. But something is nagging away at you that may have missed something on your path. The pivotal card in the reading is he “hopes/fears” one which was the 2 of wands reversed. In this context this represents “wearing blinkers, rushing ahead/not seeing the entire picture”. I would say that it’s like going on a driving holiday and then rushing from A-B at 90mph instead of leisurely driving at 30mph and taking in the views and stopping off at places.
There are 2 negative cards that you need to be aware of - the immediate future - 4 of pentacles reversed - “coveting thing other people have” (in your case I suspect occult knowledge) and how you view yourself - 5 of swords - “victory regardless of the cost” & “reminder to consider your opinions”.
I get the impression form the reading that you need to slow down on your path and share your knowledge and experiences with others and take on board any feedback. This will give greater depth and insight into your occult experiences which will be a inestimable value over your long term development (at least that’s what I hope offering these tarot readings!) Hopefully you’ll avoid making too many set backs and going down too many blind alleys which I suspect is implicit fear behind your question.
If you do this the final outcome card is the King of Cups and I’ll quote directly from one of my books- “Success in Arts, sciences or divinity. A person of great vision who is capable of putting this vision into action”.
I suspect you have the potential to become an occultist of great note in many years to come.