I brought up in a thread some days ago, that I have been working with Flauros, I was attracted to her for no reason other than that all too familiar pull you feel every now and again, when an entity is knocking on your skull and saying, "Hey give me a call".
In short it has been about three weeks since I made the first call, lol, using simple enn chanting, and candle flame scrying to begin what would become numerous conversations, and information downloads from Flauros.
This has led to the building of a rather elaborate magickal working, that I have named, "The ignition of the flame of the black Heart (FBH)", I was instructed to create a particular anointing oil for this working, and finished this just a couple of days ago, though, even though my intentions were to complete the magickal working, as I have spent the time, energy, and money to put together all of the tools and accoutrements required for the FBH, I have been ho humming around, losing my interest, wondering if I should be really working with Flauros, or if I should be moving on to work with other Demons.
On numerous occasions in the past couple of days I have induced a light trance state, through meditation and enn chanting to ask questions of her, like when I should do it? What should happen after? Should I make a pact with her like she asked in the first place? and just generally being a whiney uncertain patsy about things.
Though I was slapped upside the head last night, and until about an hour go, was still licking my wounded ego like a little bitch, until how these things usually go, (funny how when you’re in it you just don’t see it ) It became very clear when I tapped into Her presence which is usually hovering around me sense our first contact, and got the demonic smack down to knock me out of my pity party.
I find it rather funny now, and am laughing at myself, and shaking my head. Its humbling in many ways, so I figured I would share.
So last night, especially in the thick of my uncertainty, and indecisiveness, I decided to induce a light trance state, but not go fully into lucid dreaming, so I laid down, turned off the lights, got comfortable, and used Duchess Flauros enn as my mantra. Adding a little change to it from words given to me in the spell: Normally its "Ganic Tasa Fubin Flauros" but I substituted "Fubin" for "Tormo" from the spell, I don’t know what Tormo means but, its used very much in the FBH invocation. Boom, immediately she was there. I started with versions of the questions I have been asking her the past 3 or 4 days, and she gave me similar answers, then suddenly she started playing with my genitals, channeling her energy into them. Talking all sexy to me, and such, so I went with it, like "Shit, who am I to complain."
And after a good rousing batting around (energetically) of my member, just at the hair’s breath of orgasm, she blue balls me, her presence totally dissipates, she won’t even answer me at first, just getting a dial tone. Oh, and she took all the prior stimulation with her too, couldn’t even finish myself off! Poof Gone, thanks for the energetic snack!
So, 10 or 15 min later, I’m all butt hurt and whiny, like what the hell, she is chuckling, saying, "oh that’s a technique called, reverse masturbation" its dripping with sarcasm, and I just continue feeling sorry for myself.
So, I eventually hit the hay, feeling defeated, filled with self-doubt, considering Flauros has just been lying to me so on and so forth. I even went into my day today, until about an hour ago, just even more defeated and self-doubting then I was the few days before. So finally picking up my lip and putting on my big boy pants, I went outside for a smoke, figured, "fuck this I’m getting an answer as to what the fuck she is doing."
And not five min into my tapping into her presence, she says the following here is essentially our discussion once contact was made…
Me: "Having you been playing with me this whole time, what the hell, are you lying to me."
Me: "Well I’m glad that you are finding this funn-"
Duchess: "Quit being a little bitch and just do the ritual already fuck."
Me: Thinking quiet… the lights are turning back on in my head.
Me: "You know your kind of a dick, like seriously"
Duchess: "I told you more than once everything you needed to know, all that remains is you need to do the actual rite, so quit being a little bitch about it and do it already."
Me: "So that’s why you blue balled me eh?"
Duchess: “Well, being nice about it wasn’t doing anything you just kept fucking asking. We back on track?”
Me: "yep, I was being a little bitch your right. Fuck, what the hell (insert my real name)"
Duchess: Laughing Good, I’m glad you’re done feeling sorry for yourself. You wanted help with Godly ascent, well, start acting like it then!"
Me: Shaking my head; my resolve returning, feeling humbled "Touché Flauros, touché, well played."
Duchess: *chuckling, and sending me a feeling of content for me, a "That-a-boy" finality"
Well so there it is, but I felt I should share this, as I have to say, to my own chagrin, I haven’t acted like such a patsy in years! But in the grand scheme of things, I got off easy, here we go.
I will post again here, when I complete the ritual, feel free to comment though in the meantime… LOL… Face palm