A bit lost, but finding my way... Or just a newbie rant

As of late I know the LHP is where I’m supposed to be, I’ve been at a bit of crossroads or at a loss to be honest.
I’ve been all over the place with finding a guide or daemon. I started with a feeling it might be Azazel, Abaddon, and then began meditating with Lucifer.
I know that I have long journey ahead, I look at it as having a mile to travel and so far I’ve taken 1 step and I’m reading a map to figure out where my next step should go. If I don’t look at it this way I’ll just get overwhelmed.
I’ve began reading Connolly’s “Complete Book of Demonoloatry” I definitely think it’s a good primer, but there is so much information to learn and digest.
I have no allusions or delusions that I’m going to manifest a guide immediately, it does take take time and patience.
In the book she mentions finding a patron according to elemental /astrological sign. Which brings me to the purpose of my posting or rant.
According to my birth information, my daemon is Belial.
I started to read about him, and the information is a bit conflicting. It does make sense though, things he and I have in common.
We’re both winter months, he governs Capricorn? according to Connolly, other places have him listed as governing Aquarius which also makes sense since I’m born January 19th or the cusp, I have Capiquarious tendencies. His number is 1 which is funny because my birth month is January, when I meditate I can’t focus on breathing “long story” so instead I focus on the number 1 in my mind, and to top it off, my Chinese zodiac is the rat, the first animal that makes up the zodiac.
Personalitywise we’re similar, we both seem very no nonsense straight to the point. He represents carnal pleasures, which is very important to me, as sex is a stress outlet for me and I enjoy it very, very, very much.
I guess my posting is about the frustration or maybe impatience of finding a daemon to call me his or her own and vice versa.
Does anyone have any tips or ideas on how to best meditate or divine on finding my daemon guide or is it best to just wait and work on building my knowledge first?
I hear of all these stories of newbies just having a guide manifest or give them signs… I guess I’m just curious.
Much love.

One of my tribes has our children float in the Colorado river to teach them how to meditate.
You could try floating in a body of water, if it’s available to you.

You could also use the search function at the top & type in “meditation” & see if anything helpful to you pops up.

I would take everything you read about receiving patrons with a grain of salt.
Personally I think some people just pick the most repeated names of demons they read on this forum & say, “Yup, that’s my patron. I drew a sigil & we made a pact. Easy peasy.”
So, I wouldn’t feel like others are surpassing you by any means.

You don’t need a patron to achieve your goals & you can work with any entity you choose. Demons are not the end all or be all, lol.

If I were in your shoes, I would work on developing myself first before reaching out to any entity. Learning how to shield myself, learning different banishing techniques, meditating to keep my energy balanced & flowing, researching what currents I’m interested in.

If you like to jump in feet first, you could use a pendulum to see if any particular demon wants to work with you.


You definitely don’t need a patron/matron. Not yet at least. Connoly’s books are nice for study, but keep in mind that are focused around Demonolatry. Demonolators do not do evocations. They find it offensive. They don’t really work with a Demon, they’re guided by a Demon or more. They kneel before the Demons. You can be respectful without kneeling. Why do you want a Demon to claim you? You don’t want choices? You’re still new in this, you’ll find in time the one(s) to form a pact with. You don’t need initiation or dedication rituals, forget all that. Unless that’s what you really want, then that’s different. Either way, my advice would be keep reading the Complete Book of Demonolatry so you pick up some basic things from there and check this forum as well. See what people say, how they interact with the Demons and vice versa. Read read and read!


@Anassa. Thank you. That’s what I’ve been doing, reading as much as I can. I’m just taking it day by day. Meditating, etc. I think the first step is to get my shit together and let go of my own insecurities and such.
Have to learn to walk before I can fly.
Much love.

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@Sedagive, thank you. I just scrolled up and read your response.
I agree, have to clean my own house before inviting others to visit. Lol
Much love.

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