I decided to pick this back up, but instead of evocation–I’ve gone with Pathworking. I quite like it, but I take these images with much more salt than the evocations. It relies a bit more on the imagination and I think that can be a really weird grey area for someone like me with an–at times–overactive imagination. Writing usually keeps things in check, but I slip from time to time into daydreaming.
For those that don’t know what pathworking is, Theodore Rose says this about pathworking in his book Lucifer and the Hidden Demons:
"Pathworking is a form of mental journeying… …It is not an exercise in fantasy, but the purest magick, and by telling a visual story of yourself, you connect with demons in a way that is as real as any elaborate evocation."
This is a pretty good book. Originally I wasn’t vibing with it because of the hype, but after picking it up and trying it myself, I’m quite enthused by its methods.
For a quick snippet, here is an example of what “pathworking” is (also from Theodore Rose’s book):
Before you can utilize this pathworking, you must first pathwork Lucifer, then Paimon, which you can find in his book.
The Pathworking of Zalomes
A black horse galloping on the horizon.
A motionless man in flames, feeling no pain.
Saplings grow through the marshy grass.
I’ve shared just enough to give you a taste, and if you’re interested you can find his book on Amazon. Personally, I like print versions. When working with Mysterious (and now other entities), I’ve found that electronics make me lose focus. I’m sure it’s a mental thing–but that’s just me.
I’ve made a few posts in my journal (requires TL3 status) about this book:
- When I started and was #shook by some of the quotes
- “Do not fawn over a demon.”
- Theodore Rose on Escapism
- My First Pathworking from the book with Zalomes
I realize I have built my content in a manner that requires a lot of reading, and I apologize for this. The concepts I find myself dabbling in build on each other, and then as I am working on the dream/“past life” timeline it all just adds to the larger narrative. At least we are saving it for posterity–or the physicians when they finally read all of this and lock me away. That would be a really funny (and terribly sad) ending to this story.
Pathworking in Lucifer and the Hidden Demons led me to Goetia Pathworking by Corwin Hargrove. I go through phases of what I like–sometimes I like evocation, sometimes I like pathworking, sometimes I like candle work. I like to switch it up from time to time with my own bastardized versions of the real deals.
If you’ve read my previous post–my last experience with Bael/Baal was an interesting one. Funny enough–because I’m a moron–I didn’t realize Bael and Baal are the same entity. It’s good that I didn’t, or I may have gone into this with some level of bias. Our last interaction was weird to say the least.
Of course, this time is no different.
In Corwin’s work, he suggests that you utilize Bael for the following:
- Compel silence
- Proceed with stealth
- For apathy
- The secret veil
- Cause anxiety
I, of course, was just picking up the same exercise that I attempted before based on the information provided my DarkestKnight’s original post (to avoid spamming him, I’ll say you can go to the top of this thread and find all the information). In a nutshell: I wanted to “unlock parts of my mind.”
I had to complete the pathworking several times in this sitting, like before–he was very much the most difficult I’ve completed so far. This should’ve reminded me of my last experience with him, but again–I’m an idiot.
Fur and Eye
During the first attempt at the pathworking, I felt a deep burning behind my eyes. It was not painful, but it was noticeable enough to be noted here.
I ran through the imagery twice, getting really hung up on smells. In the Goetia Pathworking, they engage all senses. I am ok at visuals, but GREAT at textures. Smells–yeah, no I’m not good at those at all.
I was about to give up and read the pathworking again when–for the briefest moment–I saw a flash of a single red eye on white fur. It was so real it was like I saw it with my physical eyes, and that’s a first for me.
You elusive, furry boi.
I was so excited that I snapped out of the pathworking. The energy in the room shifted. I felt the “washing machine feeling.”
The second attempt
As I started the second attempt at this pathworking, that “washing machine” feeling turned into someone pushing on my forehead with two fingers. It felt like someone was trying to knock me out of my meditation chair.
Those fingers curled around my consciousness and jerked me forward. I felt like I was sitting on the floor in front of my body. I was seeing my world through a fisheye lens.
Credit: Pinterest (via Google Images)
When I brought my attention back to the pathworking, I saw what I believe might be Bael, but–like Lucifer in my first pathworking–he was a blur. I saw “patches” of white fur and a single red eye.
I sat in a dainty chair before an antique table. On the table, I noted various esoteric tools. I recall it made me think of those old psychic hotlines, but it had a weird, macabre overtone. Everything was black and dusty.
I tried to focus on the eye, hoping that in doing so I’ll see more of the hidden parts of him.
Something grabbed my actual face and pulled me from the scene.
I sat in my chair. The entire world felt like I was still looking through the fisheye. I sighed.
I should’ve given up for the evening, but I was convinced I could do it. If only to prove to myself I could. I thought that pathworking all took place in the subconscious, but–as is the way these things work–we go in with one expectation and wind up experiencing something entirely different. I am surely not alone in this.
Back in October, I had an experience similar to this with Mysterious (requires TL3 to view). I was a little shook when it happened again with someone else.
Something firmly grasped my chin, then moved my face around–like it was inspecting something. My face is then pointed to the altar in my bedroom, which is to my left–over and over again. I would turn away and it would become more forceful.
ALEX: “You could speak instead of playing charades with me.”
I tried to move my face back the last time, but was unable to do so, the push was too strong. I felt pain in my shoulder and neck.
My face snapped back to the front, facing a sudden surge of energy. It radiated through the room. It was a warmth that was similar to sitting in front of a space heater. A chill shot through my body, which I’ve noted happens when something is around (maybe a “body spasm” is more accurate).
I hear Baxter a few inches away. There is a scratching noise. I open my eyes. The room is back to normal. The room is completely dark, but I see Baxter on his back and wagging his tail like he’s being pet. This for some reason was really ominous to me but I couldn’t tell you why.
ALEX (sticking to the plan): “I am undertaking a pathworking of the Goetia to unlock parts of my mind that each entity is associated with. Would you be able to assist me with this?”
BAEL (?): “What do you define as ‘unlocking’?”
ALEX: “I read online that you can summon the Goetia and they are associated with different parts of the mind. I’m just trying to complete this exercise.”
BAEL (?): “Who told you this?”
ALEX: “I don’t know them personally.”
BAEL (?): “I do.”
ALEX: “Ok. That’s cool. Sooo…?”
My face is directed back to the altar.
ALEX: “I feel like there is something you’re trying to lead me to, but I’m definitely not picking up what you’re putting down.”
BAEL (?): “Why do you feel this way about them?”
ALEX: “That’s an awfully personal question. One I’m not going to answer.”
BAEL (?): “Fine.”
My head is tilted backward again.
BAEL (?): “[Says my full name], previously
Nautela, taken from us far too soon.”
ALEX: “What does that mean?”
BAEL (?): “All will be revealed when his secret is brought to light. He is hiding something–we want to know what it is.”
DREMUS moves about at the edge of the room.
I start to feel pain in my shoulder and neck again.
BAEL (?): “Something is being hidden from us, what do you think it is?”
ALEX: “I don’t know, I’m trying to figure that out myself.”
BAEL (?): “Are you sure you don’t know?”
ALEX: “You say it like you know what it is.”
BAEL (?): “That I do not.”
I see a glimpse of something large and dark. Two red eyes stare back at me from the visual in my head. Before anything else could happen, Charles starts growling at the mirror.
I come to. Mysterious is behind me, sitting on the bed.
ALEX: “That was weird.”
I try to scan the room and see if Bael is still around.
MYSTERIOUS: “We’re alone now.”
I get the visual of him reading something with a particularly nasty scowl on his face. The energy slinked back into the mirror. I frowned, then pet Mr. Charles.
Even if it turns out that my brain is making all this up, it’s cool af. Great storytelling. 10/10, subconscious–would allow you to continue to lie to me if that’s the case. As always, take everything with a grain of salt.
Not accepted, you’ve got nothing to be sorry for. I enjoy the detail and how elaborate everything is. Don’t change.
I laughed way too hard at this. Sarcasm is my jam.
The second in the Goetia was Agares. I tried to pathwork Agares earlier yesterday but was unsuccessful. To be fair, at the time I was still pretty shook by the conversation that had taken place just an hour or so before.
The second time I tried the pathworking was in the evening, which I’ve found most of my efforts just work well during that time. Even though I can immerse myself well into the meditations, the light being just beyond my eyes is distracting. I tried black-out curtains and those nighttime eye covers, but nothing makes it dark enough. A smidge of light causes me to lose focus. I’m a very visual person, so I suspect that’s why I have this problem.
My back has been acting up because of the cold weather, so I opted out of the meditation chair for the evening and instead pathworked from my bed. Some folks may believe the muddying of the two spaces isn’t a good thing, and there may be truth to that, but I had to do what I had to do with the pain.
I didn’t see Agares, similar to how I didn’t see Bael. A physical appearance was a single white eye and a long face. I figured that this was the alligator that others have seen with him.
In this pathworking, after finishing the pathwork, I moved us to a “temple” of sorts based on the house from ANRD200727A.
I stood in the center of what was once a large dining hall. It was very sunny. I stood towards a large fireplace with a pedestal (which held a book with indiscernible writing) and a table with various tools. Opposing me was a large wooden door, rounded at the top. It was a thick door, I could tell by the ornate carvings that decorated it (and how deep they went).
Agares entered the room in a purple suit. I didn’t see his face only able to see from the shoulders down. I could see that he had shoulder-length hair and a medium-length beard that came into my vision but that’s it. I didn’t see the hawk or the alligator.
“This is where I see you have gator skin shoes or something cliche, right?” I joked as he closed the door behind him.
Agares laughed. “No, I would never do that to my friend!”
Agares had an accent I’ve never heard before in my waking life. It’s very similar to the accent I hear from Mysterious from time to time when it slips up. Typically I hear it from Mysterious when he’s really emotional (typically happy or angry) about something.
If you find it as fascinating as me–I’ve been able to reproduce the sound. It comes from “speaking at the back of the mouth but the front of the throat.” Characterized by “big sound” and feels very emotive.
God, that sounded dumb. I hope it makes sense to someone.
I straightened my back and folded my hands in front of me. “Agares, I have called you here to request your assistance. I am pathworking the 72 Goetia. You are the second on my list. I wish for you to unlock the part of my mind that you are associated with, and in doing so, help me gain power and influence.”
Agares stood there, silently.
I half-smiled, “Truthfully, I hope this will assist me with the timeline and learning the truth–whatever that may be.”
Agares tucked his hands in his pockets. He walked towards the large, floor-to-ceiling window next to him. “Do you know what the purpose of this is?”
“‘Unlocking’ is not just a mental thing. When you pathwork the Goetia you’re requested that we remove blockers in your life, and the internal blockers that keep you from attaining your desires.”
I had a guess that it was the case, but the fact he went out of his way to explain it to me gave me a bit of a warm and fuzzy feeling. “Thank you for helping me expand my understanding.”
“My pleasure.” He turned back to me.
“So, will you further assist me with this task?”
“I will.” Agares seemed to half-bow. He makes a motion toward the door to leave.
Now or never.
My boyfriend and I had a conversation yesterday about my conversation with Bael. He suggested that I “bluff a little” and pretend to know what they’re looking for so I could get some answers of my own–or at minimum–try to find out what they know if someone is willing to divulge.
In-person, I like to believe I can be sometimes brash, but overall and soft-spoken. It would be unlike me to be pushy, so I stayed true to form.
Before he could leave, I asked the question that weighed on my mind. “What do you and others think Mysterious is hiding?”
I reveal a few of my cards, including some discoveries I was playing around with during a conversation with my boyfriend earlier that evening. It was nothing substantial, I’m not going to betray my only perceived ally, but I know that there’s always an exchange–it’s never freely offered.
During this conversation, Agares called me “the bride of mystery” which was weird.
“Bride [of mystery], we are unsure of what exactly it is that he’s keeping hidden. We may know what your role is in the scheme, but we don’t fully understand why you’re being kept in the dark on the plan. It is odd behavior inconsistent with the past. I don’t believe there is any ill intention towards you in this situation.”
I tug at the ring on my finger, sliding it up my ring finger then back down again. It’s a nervous fidget I’ve started.
Agares noticed, “Is that incorrect?”
“No, I don’t think so. It’s just all so complicated–or I think I’m making it so. I just want to know the truth behind all of this.”
“That’s all that you can look for. You will make progress and strides in your work. The truth we all are waiting for will be revealed and brought to the light when we reach our anticipated end to this storyline. There’s no fighting it, it will all turn out the way it is intended to.”
“I supposed you’re right.”
Silence fills the room.
He opens the door. I shrug, “Is what Mysterious said true–was something cast yesterday?”
“All I will say is that your enemies are few, bride, but be weary of them for they are clever.”
“We part with peace between us. I will assist you on your journey, this I promise.” He leaves without another word.
My typical safe harbor statement:
Are…are you psychic? For the past month I’ve been thinking about taking up my own challenge again, but using visionary magick/pathworking instead of evocation
Shiiiittttt I wish. Maybe I wouldn’t get myself into trouble all the time! haha
I’ll admit I owe you a great deal of thanks on this. Your comments on Lucifer and the Hidden Demons convinced me to try pathworking and the 72 challenge.
My “television dad”, Dave Chappelle, is an accurate description of how I feel right now with every new unfolding chapter.
All I can say here: It’s working.
Release Your Previously Held Fears
As with all of my pathworking these days, I had to make this attempt a few times. The first time I attempted this, I saw an actual alligator’s face with two red eyes. I thought this was a biased image from my working with Agares, so I refocused and tried again. I didn’t know that Vassago also had an alligator associated with him–I intentionally don’t look their physical appearances up so I can validate my experiences.
With the first pathworking, I felt pain from the left side of my head where the neck connects, which then spread to the center of my head.
I pulled us into the room before as I did with Agares. The door was already open, and a creature with a lot of hair walked into the room. It was hunched over and I couldn’t take in fully what it was. It was large in length, but not in height. I imagine if it wasn’t hunched over it would be a tall creature.
I went through my normal spiel:
… "and solve the timeline mysteries and see the truth.
Vassago agreed to assist. He followed up with:
VASSAGO: “May we request something from you?”
ALEX: “It would depend. You can definitely request, but I will hold my agreeance to deliver or perform until after the request is made.”
VASSAGO: “Release your previously held fears that you’ve become so enamored with.”
I repeat back my understanding. He agrees. I agree to try my best.
Before he left, I asked him why he said that:
VASSAGO: “We have lived in fear long enough and wish to be free. We will work on this together. May you have a nice life until next, we meet. I will decide then if I extend that blessing beyond that time.”
I felt like he meant that as a joke based on the tone.
I thanked him.
Previous Demon Uses
As described by Goetia Pathworking: Magickal Results from The 72 Demons by Corwin Hargrove.
I did these for Bael, but I wanted to provide the prior’s as well because I completely forgot:
- Learn with ease.
- Work with purpose.
- Ruin reputation.
- Make somebody return.
- Stimulate decision and action.
- Weaken magick.
- Find a lost object.
- Discover truth.
- Know the past.
- Sense change.
I intend to work more with Vassago in the future. His talents definitely align with my interests.
Uses for Gamigin
- Overcome grief.
- Write convincingly.
Are you ready to face the beast with which you have created?
I believe that an imposter tried to enter the room the first time. It pronounced its own name wrong.
The second attempt:
Once we were completed, here was the subsequent conversation. Gamigin seemed very soft-spoken in my experience.
Gamigin: “I will let you rest. Call on my when you are ready to hear my wisdom.”
A: “I am not going to bed. You can speak freely. I write down my encounters after they happen.”
Gamigin: “Are you sure?”
A: “Yeah, I’m able to listen.”
Gamigin: “Are you ready to face the beast with which you have created?”
A: “What beast? Have I met this beast yet?”
A: (visibly confused)
Gamigin: “Lastly, let the dead die. I will help you with this task.”
I thought about Angel in that moment. Her face popped up in my mind, though she doesn’t come to mind often. I shed a tear or two.
Gamigin: “Be safe and at peace. I will assist you on this journey.”
No idea what that means.
Finally got to Marbas. I had to take a slight hiatus because something over the weekend made me ineligible to continue. We’re back in business.
I tried to pathwork Marbas last week, but literally fell asleep in my meditation chair both times (I have no idea how, it’s a very not sleep-friendly chair).
As described by Goetia Pathworking: Magickal Results from The 72 Demons by Corwin Hargrove. The following is the uses for Marbas:
- Cast a glamour
- Cure infection
- Cast infection
- Discover answers
I shall add Marbas to my list of people intend to work with.
Leading up to Marbas, I had this sense of familiarity when I pondered his name. Anytime I opened the “chapter” there was an energy I knew. I describe the feeling to be similar to that of when you meet someone, and you know you’ve seen them before, but you don’t know where. You weren’t anything more than acquaintances, but you know each other.
Pathworking Experience Summary
All that being said, I was excited for the wait period to be over.
During the pathworking, something attempted to intervene. The interaction began when Marbas put his own sigil on the ground in the hall that we met in. I asked him why he did this, and he said that it was to protect against the thing. The thing was black and sludge-like. I used a shield to throw it out. Marbas mentioned something as to its origins, but I honestly don’t recall what he said.
It’s really funny, because I saw a man in a purple suit with a lion’s head. I thought that was a little unlike what I read (I broke my code this time and looked him up after my first two attempts).
I then saw this on Occult World this morning:
Nifty. It almost looks like he’s wearing a fursuit, so I’m going to just go with it. haha
He made a joke about deserving the formality I’d shown the others, so I went through my usual spiel:
He agreed to assist.
He made a vague reference to love and I slightly panicked, thinking that I was in an illusion.
Me to me, thinking I accidently fell into a LARP-y fantasy:
Then he mentioned “love” in a familial way, not otherwise. We “were related” in a way. I dunno either.
We then moved on:
MARBAS: “It’s ironic we prioritize what we can perceive with our physical senses even though these things are more an illusion than what you see before you now.”
I asked him what he meant. He said it would make sense with time.
We parted–or so I thought–and he-who-is-nosey appeared.
MYSTERIOUS: “What are you doing?”
A: “You know good and GD well what I’m doing.”
MYSTERIOUS: becomes more perceivable
MYSTERIOUS: “Oh, you’re still here…”
MYSTERIOUS: backs into the sigil on the altar slowly
MARBAS: “I wanted to leave you with this–the truth you will uncover will shake the foundations of what you know.”
I asked if it was related to the timeline. He said yes and no. It will be a stepping stone, but continuing my work will accelerate us getting to this truth.
I have continued the Goetia work but have been too lazy to update this journal. I’ve pathworked a bit since then.
Typical safe-harbor statement:
Take everything you read here with a grain of salt. I could be a lunatic making this all up in my head and just not know it yet.
The day after I pathworked Marbas, I had another experience with Bael. I feel like he’s my worst “tester” in the Goetia. I don’t get any malicious intentions after our last conversation, it really is just that–a test. I posted about it briefly in my old journal:
I was standing in my bedroom, cleaning and listening to music. It had been a particularly rough day at work, so I indulged a little. I may never be able to completely break that habit.
I thought about my experience with Bael, and the things Mysterious subsequently said in regards to the experience. I cut off the lights and removed my headphones. I felt a presence in the house, but I figured it was Mysterious.
The darkness of the room gets a little darker as I approach my nightstand, placing my phone and headphones on the surface. I didn’t have to turn around. “Leave my home. I did not call on you. I’m not even sure how you were able to get in.”
“We’re working together now. I do as I please.” Of course. Just what I need. Another asshole. “Besides, you did call.”
I turned around to the corner of the room where the mirror stood. Instantly the room bubbled, again–like a fish-eye lens. He is the only spirit I’ve encountered so far that causes this to happen. “What do you want?”
“You’re always so pleasant.” Bael commented.
“You basically cursed me a few days ago.” I snapped.
“I did not curse you. You are using catastrophic language to describe a very minor inconvenience. It is the duty of the Goetia to test you and make sure you’re up to par. My test was no different than any of the others.”
“Okay… Anyway, what’cha need from me?”
“I want to know why?”
“What does it matter? The answer affects you in no way.”
“The answer could determine my next move, Alex.”
“Yeah, well, he’s who I’m loyal to, so let that be your answer–to whatever end we are pursuing.”
“What do you hope to gain by this foolishness?”
“You know that answer.”
“You think it will really happen?”
“I’ve decided to trust what he says and who he is. I guess we’ll see what happens with time.”
“What if every bad thing that happened to you is his fault?”
“Then I guess we’ll need a lot of couples’ therapy to deal with it.”
“This isn’t a joke.”
“Who says I’m joking?”
Silence fills the room. If looks could kill, I’d probably have been dead in that moment.
“What is this end that is being pursued? Games are being played and I’m trying to understand all the players–and secrets. What is Mysterious hiding?”
“Nothing I’m aware of.”
“We’re all trying to figure it out as we go.” I sit in my meditation chair. The mirror’s corner gets much darker. I’m feeling very lightheaded at this point. I closed my eyes to focus.
"Mysterious plays a game with
Lant--" He pauses. “
Lant--” Y’know how sometimes you can feel someone’s emotion by body language? Is that such a thing with energy? I had the perception of someone being very puzzled for a moment. “I can’t say it.”
I was shook. “It’s the box.” The words slipped out mindlessly. In a small way, I was excited, but that feeling was coated in a sense of nervousness. “Now it all makes sense.” I opened my eyes briefly, now overwhelmed by the fish-eye to a point that I was a little nauseated. “Now the games make sense–I can’t be told something that wasn’t revealed in the timeline. It’s like a key.” I half-laughed. “Gamigin mentioned to me the other day: ‘Are you ready to face that with which you have created?’ I thought he was talking about Mysterious, now I don’t know.”
I realized the company I was in, then was silent. The energy in the room shifted, something familiar poured into the room like water. Bael’s energy drifted back to the mirror, “We should speak again when he’s not around. His energy bleeds throughout this place and overwhelms. It’s nearly impossible to speak when he’s here.”
I made a reference in my original journal to a post that I read which indicated a similar experience, but for the life of me I couldn’t find it even in my personal writings.
Bael disappeared into the mirror, and another took his place. No one has to guess who seems to pop back in when things get good. As much as I’d like to believe it was malicious, it was getting to be around the time I typically tried to project. We had a schedule now, thanks to Dr. Phil.
“You two seem to like each other.” I noticed the world seemed to come back to normal.
“We are not friends. We are not enemies. Everything will make sense with time.”
I am so tired of hearing that, tbh.
This experience spurred up this post on the name of the entity that seems to keep popping up.
The above is a repost because I wanted to discard my old journal and revamp the content to be more approachable to new audiences in a new journal (cause I post dumb stuff sometimes).
Here is the next set of entities that I pathworked (though I’ll go with part 1 for now because it’s pretty long):
As described by Goetia Pathworking: Magickal Results from The 72 Demons by Corwin Hargrove, this entity is helpful for:
• Stimulate disloyalty.
• Perceptive Wisdom
• Break Secrecy
I like “break secrecy.” Given its uses and my experience with Valefar, it’s likely I will do this pathworking again as well.
My Pathworking Experience
When I pathworked Valefar, I opened my eyes briefly to “restart” the pathworking, catching a glimpse of a whole lotta blue whisps in the bedroom. I also caught a glimpse of a single red eye near the mirror.
After I restarted the pathworking, I got the impression that someone had their palm right in front of my face, moving in a “wax on/wax off” motion just before my eyes.
It took a few tries because I am one of those people that believes if it doesn’t feel real fully I’ll just keep trying until it’s my level of “real.” I imagine if it works on the first two tries or so, the spirit sits in the corner watching me try to push my brain out through my third eye like:
Valefar appeared in the hall that I call these entities to, which I started doing after the Bael thing because I felt there was some sort of extra-level protection in doing so. As he walked in, I saw a long face like that of a horse and his “fur” was black.
I apologized for losing him a few times during my attempt to pathwork, believing that I disrespected his time by bringing him there and losing him again with my lack of focus.
VALEFAR: Never think that way. It’s not a problem.
I list my usual spiel about assisting me in gaining power and influence by unlocking the part of my mind that Valefar is associated with. I have started adding on “to also assist with the dream timeline.”
VALEFAR: With pleasure.
ALEX: I will be in your debt.
VALEFAR: Yes, but not in the way you believe. You are my friend. I help friends.
ALEX: Before we separate, are there any words of wisdom you would like to give to me?
VALEFAR: Remember that with the progress you must make choices, we request that you not make these decisions lightly. We hope you will make the right decision when the time comes.
ALEX: [asks if this is related to a pact I made]
VALEFAR: [Confirms this, adds some detail.] It will not be the only decision you must make. Everyone will see the truth when it’s all revealed.
ALEX: Thanks for this wisdom, you give me much to think about.
VALEFAR: We will happily assist you on this journey, Alex. We will lead you home and all will be as it is intended.
As described by Goetia Pathworking: Magickal Results from The 72 Demons by Corwin Hargrove, this entity is helpful for:
• Stimulate romantic feelings in friends
• Break friendships up
• Reconcile friendships
• Inspire awe in an enemy
• Create chaos within a small group of people that involves friendships
I’m working on a curse jar right now that I would quite like to bolster with Amon’s talents.
Amon was pretty straight-forward. I went through my usual spiel, he agreed to help.
For his wisdom, he stated:
“[Mysterious] can be vengeful, vindictive, and–” He paused as if evaluating if it would be worth continuing. “I just hope it all turns out as you believe it will.” He exited out the door. “Remember how dangerous [Mysterious] can be.”
I told him that was fair, and I appreciate his assistance.
He came back again for round three. This time it felt gross. I’m not even sure if it really was him or something pretending to be him. Mysterious told me to play it cool in the back of my mind as activity picked up.
Eyes open, I saw all sorts of red “eyes” around the room. A dark fog filled the space, though it could’ve been a trick of the eye in the dark. Bael said the weirdest thing to me: “I will show you what you really are and what your purpose is.”
Things happened. It was weird. I will keep a lot of the details to myself, because it’s heavy UPG, and I’m just not ready to unpack all of it with a broader audience. My bedroom was suffocating and toxic. The room was like a vacuum, with intense pressure holding everyone and everything still. I felt like a child caught in the midst of doing something really bad by a guardian.
In the middle of this, Mysterious slinked back in as he always does, but instead of leaving Bael stayed. A bit of banter happened which I’ll keep to myself, but as the intensity of their conversation increased, so did the pressure in the room. That fisheye lens that I saw the world through when Bael was around seemed to close in on me.
Mysterious–much to my irritation–was doing something to occasionally cloud parts of the conversation. When something came up that he didn’t want me to hear, those “voices” would suddenly be like trying to listen to my neighbors through the wall. There are voices, but you can’t hear what’s being said.
Energy formed droplets on the wall, and they dripped down the walls and furniture in the room, pooling at the floor. This same experience happened again during a conversation about our relationship, but instead of being sad and whatever–this was just angry. I didn’t feel threatened, but the action itself was very threatening.
I remember a reaction from Dremus and the ever-illusive “Watch,” but it was a bit of a blur.
Suddenly, without warning, there was this “loud” POP. Similar to the sudden release of pressure when you pop your ears–but it was my whole head. Bael was gone and everything was back to normal.
Across town, K’s mom has an interesting experience when reaching for her purse at the airport. She said to K that she heard a “POP” that seemed to come from somewhere else, followed by a tug on her shoulder, and suddenly an immense amount of pain.
I found this out the next day. I don’t talk to K about my Goetia work, mostly cause she isn’t really into that. She likes to hear about Tarot and the dream timeline. That’s about it. We talked about the event and how odd it was. She didn’t injure her shoulder and her purse isn’t heavy. I asked her the time it happened and she said the exact time that the “pop” happened at the house.
Could be a coincidence, but I thought it was really interesting.
Even further away, to the northern part of Tennessee, my boyfriend is woken up by a very loud, male voice calling his name. It was “unlike any voice he’d heard before” and “sounded like they needed help.”
My boyfriend mentioned this after I mentioned K’s mom, so I can’t verify if the conversation about the events didn’t alter his memory of the time this happened.
Back in the condo, I suddenly felt really sick. I had to lay down for fear that I’d lose dinner.
The next day, Mysterious made a statement to me:
I saw all of the strings and I just pulled them.
This was a reference to a statement that he made to my boyfriend a month or so prior. Mysterious claimed that those we shared a close connection with formed “strings” and that “those strings complicated things.” It’s still hella vague and I can’t even guess what he means by this. Though the fact he just decided in a moment of rage to pull on all of those strings really seemed ballsy, if you don’t mind me saying.
Take it with a grain of salt. Could be coincidences. I could just be crazy.
I have not seen or heard hide nor tail of Bael since this happened, though he’s been about or speaking of things, as Paimon alluded to in his pathworking.
As described by Goetia Pathworking: Magickal Results from The 72 Demons by Corwin Hargrove, this entity is helpful for:
• Understand what a person means to you
• See the truth behind secret actions
• Gain intuition about what’s about to happen
• Be respected by those in power
• Understand science
I had to do this pathworking twice, per the norm, because I felt like the “connection” just wouldn’t take. I’ll admit that I was a little stressed this evening because something happened with K that seemed on-par with what happened to [Mal]. Barbatos implied that it was related to “Lant–”. I am going with “Lantith” in future posts because I think that’s spot-on.
My Pathworking Experience
Barbatos appeared wolfish when he entered the hall. He was a man but had a very shaggy appearance. I remember red eyes and ink-like flesh.
He agreed to assist me with my “quest” and left me with this:
BARBATOS: What horrors away you in the future, Alex. Would you betray your best friend to achieve what you want?
ALEX: What should I do to stop this?
BARBATOS: Do what you must.
BARBATOS: We are being watched closely, we must part.
I thanked him and we ended the pathworking.
I expected to find Mysterious nosing about, but this evening I didn’t see Mysterious. I’m not sure who was “watching” but I found that slightly annerving.
This is my second time with Paimon. I previously evoked him.
• Understand inner needs
• Develop Reputation
• Influence through presence
• Confuse someone
• Musical ability
• Remove weakness
This was a pretty interesting one for me. He revealed some things about the night before (the “attack” on K) that I wasn’t privy to, which turned out to be true. I’ll keep it to myself for now.
He also stated to me that “Bael spoke favorable of me and my usefulness has been noted.” I only mention this because every experience with Bael thus far has been extremely difficult and I pretty much thought we hated each other. Interesting stuff.
Paimon ends with the statement:
I’ll follow this up with part 2 later. I wanted to get some of them added in here because the list is getting a little long. haha
When I first saw Sitri, he appeared as a tall, lanky leopard. Legs very long and thin, long body. I describe it in such a way because the shape and size seemed unnatural.
In a cloud of smoke, he turned into a man. I remember he had a very rigid, but handsome appearance. He wore very small, round glasses and what looked like a wool coat that had a turtle neck. The colors he wore reminded me of a peacock, with rich blue-green and purple. He was one of the few entities that didn’t appear in the hall in a suit.
He just felt more–approachable–for lack of a better word, than everyone else so far.
I went through my usual spiel, which you can read about above with one of the other entities. I didn’t have to ask for any advice, as he just continued on with casual conversation.
SITRI: “You write beautifully and inspire others with your writing, but I’m afraid that will no longer be enough for the future.”
ALEX: “What do you mean?”
SITRI: “The lost one is making progress. We all will be called to assist in defeating the dragon’s beastly foe. The Goetia will be called to assist the writer.”
I didn’t know what to say to this. I stood silently in the nearly empty hall.
Outside of the vision, my face was on fire, as if I had just been slapped. My head would randomly fill with visions of circles.
The first and most powerful was a man (bald, extremely muscular, long beard), he was dressed in rags. He spun a ball and chain over his head, shouting at something we couldn’t see on screen. I’ve never seen this man before. He had some weird tattoos on his body, but I can’t even remember them now. The sky above was grey, and sandstone walls could be seen a few feet away.
I tried to snap out of the vision, still standing with Sitri. It didn’t work.
I saw a circle being traced over and over again in light on a dark canvas.Like this gif, but remove the trail and keep only the movement:
It was in the colors Sitri was wearing. I heard his voice over the vision: “Over and over again.”
I snapped out of the vision, back in the hall.
SITRI: “What comes up must come down. We must repeat the patterns over and over again until we get it right. There is no margin for error this time.”
I didn’t know how to respond. My head inside and outside of the vision was spinning. The washing machine feeling on steroids.
SITRI: “Be afraid of the future, Nautela, for Alex will be no more when the future comes.”
That statement deeply disturbed me. It disturbs me even now.
I gathered from our conversation, and an observance I made after speaking with him, that I know what the singularity is. Mysterious knows what it is. It is the unspoken truth between us, that–when said out loud–ruins this small game we play.
Instead of a circle, as Sitri described it, I think of those carnival rides that swing back and forth like a pendulum. Sometimes, the ride goes completely in a 365, other times it only swings back and forth. It’s why, since last year, we’ve felt like we were going backward. We were in the backstroke back into the same situations, facing the same beasts with new eyes and skills. Our old ways did not work and now we must try something new to “slay these dragons.”
I thought it was funny the other day that I died my hair black again. I did it PURELY out of laziness, but the last period I did so I was in a similar state of mind to what I was before. There are also some interesting parallels in my life to the time I was a teenager, constantly struggling with outside opinions of my work ethic, etc. Fascinating things.
I have a secret fear that Lantith is some sort of manifestation of the deep, dark things that creep up from time to time, and that I’ll wind up back at the moment where the stone dropped in the water. I can see it coming, so I actively fight against it if I’m right, but it’s scary to think we could repeat this cycle over and over again. We may never learn the lessons the universe aims to teach us, and if we don’t this could be a very painful process.
I will try to stay optimistic and face these “beasts” with clear understanding and held ground.
I thought it was worth mentioning that this may not be the first time I’ve met Sitri, or should I say Sitri met me. I may not have been aware of it if we did meet before.
Lirach Alora vefa Sitri.
I see Mysterious. He has these four elements represented by a torch or fire. He puts his hand over each and the flames turn white.
He is trying to recite a phrase of some unknown power (at least to me). Originally thinking I’m watching this in third person, I’m surprised when he grabs me from the nothing and repeats:
[word] [word] [word] Sitri.
I almost wonder if he’s stating the Enn for Sitri, because I just now noticed that his enn matches the number of words Mysterious says in the dream:
Sitri – Lirach Alora vefa Sitri.
I got this information from this thread.
Every time he says the full incantation/enn/whatever I wake up. I’m shaking my head from side-to-side as if I am in immense pain or being struck. I would dose back off, finding Mysterious waiting. He repeats the phrase again, the last time jarring me completely from sleep. I jerk out of paralysis and hiss into the dark.
I’m sweating. I do not have my eyes open. I hear something walk across the ceiling above me and down the wall. In my mind’s eye I see something that reminds me of a spider. I know something is right in front of me. I don’t dare open my eyes because I’m afraid of what I might see.
I roll over and bury my face into Mr. Charles’ back.
I, surprisingly, can’t find this dream in any of my journals–other than my old BALG thread–which is interesting but I’ll chalk it up to nothing for now.
I wrote on the original thread that each fire represented an element and that it was supposed to be some sort of cleansing. He is doing this possibly as it relates to the Black Dragon, but I have no idea what I based any of that on.
I was very sick that morning despite obeying the quarantine.
As I sit here now after evaluating the uses for Sitri like:
I will challenge my bias and try to not jump to conclusions anymore… But I’m giving a lot of real side-eye over here.
Sitri took a lot out of me, but I did Beleth and Sitri on the same night because I fell behind.
Beleth, after the usual song and dance, asked a lot of questions that I didn’t note down, specifically around my intentions and goals. He asked me why I thought I belonged and deserved to be on this journey, and what I’ve done to “exercise my rights.”
I told him I had no power. He told me it wasn’t true as “requests were made.”
I wrote at the end that I wanted to pathwork Beleth one more time before I moved on to the next. I think there is more to see here.
I believe I am missing a section, but I’ll review the order at the end.
The night that I pathworked Beleth, I kept having a similar experience to Sitri. Even sitting straight up I was going in and out of consciousness–and I wasn’t even tired. It feels ridiculously rude, so I need to re-evaluate my approach.
The first time I saw Beleth, they appeared in red sheer with two “hats” at the top of their head. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier post, I don’t look up anything about the entity before I pathwork it, so then I can go back to my research and confirm that who I thought I was speaking to and who I was speaking to are the same people. I thought it was a very elaborate hat. It was ears. Beleth takes the form of a cat. I was so shook.
This time, he appeared in blue. Also sheer.
ALEX: “I wanted to bring your back here so that we could discuss the pathworking again. I’m afraid I was pretty rude last time and wanted to apologize.”
BELETH: “Why must you apologize again?”
ALEX: “I partly fell asleep while trying to perform your pathworking–I think–and that was rude of me. This is me apologizing for disrespecting your time.”
BELETH: “Your apology is accepted but unwarranted. Speak frankly. You come to me because you want to know more about my statements last time we met.”
There is a silence between us.
BELETH: “So I’ll ask again, what are you demanding out of life?”
I mentioned that I demand what I’m owed, though I don’t chase my ultimate end-goal like I should. I acknowledged that I was trying to be more comfortable with pursuing them.
BELETH: “I once wanted to be like you are–innocent, naive. I no longer wish that.”
We sat, again, in silence. They ran their fingers along the side of an armchair, uncomfortable eyes set on me.
BELETH: “Love is a terrible emotion. Once it ensnares you, it never lets you go. I’d pity you, but it would be wasted. You could not love another without his permission. I suppose it’s a good thing we are not all the same–if we allowed ourselves such delicate luxury, the world would descend into chaos.”
There was more here, but I couldn’t remember it long enough to write it down. There was just SOOOO much good stuff.
Beleth stretched in the chair.
BELETH: " ‘Do not let your powers become a stumbling block for the weak.’ Who struggles? What do you gain from their struggle? This is what we must ask ourselves. Life is give and take. Where are you taking more than you give? This we must always wonder."
BELETH: “Nautela. Alex. Nautela has left you and only Alex remains. I’d say it was quite the improvement.”
Before Beleth left, I asked him if there were any closing statements he’d like to make.
BELETH: "I ask that you work on your wit. A lack of wit leads to poor planning. Poor planning leads to poor decisions. Poor decisions leads to suffering. Suffering leads to chaos.”
I felt dumb before I even said it, but honestly, I have this lingering suspicion that something bad is going to happen in this area of my life.
ALEX: “Is this related to my job?”
BELETH: “Sometimes I wonder why you were chosen for this task. I will leave you with that, Alexandria.”
If that was meant to deter me Beleth, you should know I am a glutton for punishment.
I’ll admit this one I came into with bias based on prior readings, so it’s impossible for me to know if this was my imagination or not.
Leraye walked into the hall and sat in the chair in the center of the room. He wore a long coat that had almost an “umbrella” that fell down his shoulders (if that makes sense). He has some ornamentation on the right breast of the coat, but we sit too far apart for me to see what it is. He removed his hood after sitting down and slouched in the chair slightly.
I have seen him before, briefly, he looked slightly different now. His face and build were the same, though.
Before I even finished the formal introduction and request, he interrupted.
LERAYE: “Before you ask me this, I request that you answer a question for me.”
LERAYE: “My tests will break you in ways that the others have not. You have not experienced tests like mine yet in your work with the Goetia.”
I think about Bael and cringe. I’m almost walk away from this one, but I FACED THE FEAR.
(That makes it sound so much better than it actually was.) I went back and forth on whether or not it was worth it the entire time that I sat in that hall. “Do I really want to keep doing this?”
Bael triggered me. Ok?
LERAYE: “I only work with the honest. We are like-minded in our high regard for the truth. This leads me to my question–what is your goal?”
I answered honestly.
LERAYE: “I will assist you as the others have, but I request something from you in return.”
I thought it was along the same lines as the others.
LERAYE: “I need you to sway an outcome for me.”
He describes an elaborate plan. It makes me slightly nervous. Shadows creep along the windows outside. Leraye flicks his wrist and the curtains in the hall close. It’s unspoken between us, but we both know the source.
LERAYE: “That’s annoying.”
ALEX: “Yeah, I’m not comfortable with the exchange. If the decisions were made on this already, I feel like they had to be made in good faith.”
There is tapping on the windows. Leraye’s face sours. He pushes the issue, becoming more aggressive. I don’t budge on my stance.
ALEX: “If that is your demand, I will move on to the next.”
At the end of the debate, there is a long, deafening silence. His glare is on me–if looks could kill.
This was followed by his laughter.
LERAYE: “Calm yourself, I was testing you.”
I’m honestly not sure if I should laugh or not. I probably looked like an idiot standing there.
LERAYE: “Lantith will crumble at our feet.”
After the pathworking was over, I realized I did something slightly wrong with the pathworking. I had a suggestion come to mind:
LERAYE: “You did, but I came anyway.”
Take everyhing I say with a grain of salt (as you should all things on the internet). I could just be crazy and not know it!
I was originally going to post this in my journal, but since it’s related to this work I wanted to lump it in here. Mostly because that super powerful quote by Mrs. [Walter] just summarizes the experience I’ve had so far with my Goetia work.
Topic Keywords: Goetia Work, Musing about the Process
Mysterious said something to me early on in my Goetia work that I’ve been thinking about and witnessed with each new pathworking. In fact, Bael even made reference to it:
I often wonder if this “unlocking” is more than what I originally realized. In my ignorance, I believed that each new step was going to only unlock magical ability, but I’ve found that the pathworking of the Goetia, especially in my personal life, has operated as a bit of a catalyst for overall change. Or–something that’s come to mind a lot recently, the Goetia experience has been a bit of a crucible to my overall self.
If you’re not familiar with the concept of the crucible, my English teacher in high school said something profound in her definition of it:
Mrs. [Walter] lifted the small, egg-like object in front of the class. “A crucible is a container. You put something in it, turn the temperature all the way up, and what comes out of it is the broken down element. The purpose of the crucible in this context is to break you down to what you really are.”
When I first started out on my Goetia work, I intended to utilize the power of the Goetia to achieve my goals of completing the dream timeline and uncovering “truths” about the situations I found myself in related to those subjects. I feel like, as part of that exercise, I’ve changed drastically over the past few months, and likewise–so has my life. I’ve gained some element of clarity (or courage, really) to face the darker parts of myself that I thought I knew. But, like my dealings with Mysterious during our exercises in The Couple’s Workbook, I find out now how little I knew about myself and how much work was left to do on those “shadow parts” I thought I’d dealt with already.
Bael was a “kick start” to this process, and I find that–because he operates in the realm of confusion–his test is harder than the others, and ultimately we have to cut through the confusion/chaos to get to our own “ultimate truth.” Every new pathworking broke down a wall (or sticking to the metaphor–component of myself) that operated as a stumbling block.
Funny enough, I’m reminded of another statement made by Mysterious [ANRE201201C]:
MYSTERIOUS: “Every time you make substantial progress, outside influences push back to stifle progress. They got you again today.”
ALEX: “It’s frustrating.”
MYSTERIOUS: “Yet, necessary. Every bump in the road that you overcome makes you smarter–so you won’t slip over the same one twice.”
If my theory is right, my hope is that with further working, and the inevitable (albeit slow) completion of the pathworking exercise, I will have a better understanding of myself, give myself a fulfilling purpose, and accomplish my goals in life.