I have had personal energy based on my own independence… aka (being apart from my mom living wise). While I was living at a family friends house, from about 8 months ago up until 2 nights ago… i had that energy there with me at the room i was in(energy of self sufficiency and confidence to provide for self, enjoying it etc), and it was not evaded upon etc. It felt incredibly under my control and as if I was In control of my energy and not deterred by things around me.
I was given a place to stay that i own now due to a connection through my mom and time was ticking at that place I was staying at, the guy didn’t tell me himself I had to leave, he told my mom. and i wanted to bring the energy I had there that was with me at that last place to the place I’m at now without it being evaded upon by my mom. Due to reasons of “control”, etc… I was not given the opportunity to just get to the new location myself so i could transfer that energy to the new place and went with the person who was controlling to take me there (my mom), rather than travel to the location myself.
They wanted to make it a “special experience”. Which i understand but i wanted to vibe out the new place for myself. Rather than make sure it was a special experience for me due to me checking it out for myself. When I mentioned this, I was guilt tripped.
What can I do to transmit that energy I left there at that place with me so I have it here at the new place? I feel I need to go back because my independent energy is back there and my mom has done this every fucking time she has gotten me a place to stay, where she will take me there rather than me journey there(new house) myself (in turn keeping my energy from the place I left and bringing it with me to the new place). When I go with her, she castrates that energy I had with me at whatever place I was at. This creates like a codependency loop and keeps me from enjoying new places like previous ones.
How do I also get rid of the energy of those people who were here so I can have this space to myself
how could I go about showing my appreciation to my parents without jeopardizing my feeling of authority over my own independence and personal energy of independence at this new place?
If I would have known this would happen I would have just let her leave (meet me there) and walked there myself. Whenever I have left old houses, it’s always been with my mom rather than leaving myself. This makes it as though mine and her energies are together whenever I leave an old place and castrates my feeling of independence(ie leaving a place I was at and journeying to the new one alone) which is very important as I understand now.
Do I need to go back to that place I was at and meditate then Re-enact walking from that place to the new one? Is there something I can do?