My name is Kate. I’m not smart enough to see how to include a picture so I’ll see if I can set my profile picture.
I have read so much about so much over the years, I don’t even know where to begin. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m ok with helping others through intention or actually doing something, but I’m sick of being overlooked for other stronger personalities. People who don’t deserve the positions and recognition they get but they get it because they know how to work people and work the system. I’m looking to really ground myself and channel my own abilities and power to get the life I want before I’m too old to enjoy it. I’ve read on black magic, white magic, gray magic, chaos magic, anything I could stumble on or someone told me about. I have all sorts of books, articles, etc that I’ve collected over the years but I’m looking for something that works for me. Not something I have to buy a lot of expensive items for or have to do super long rituals for. Something that resonates with me that feels natural enough to remember without having pages of notes. I stumbled across this site awhile ago and it’s been at the back of my mind. The more crap I’ve dealt with this past year, the more often this site pops in my mind. I’m guessing this is a sign that this is the direction I need to be moving.
Goals:
I’m a historian, researcher, and work at local historical homes when I’m not working with the children during the week. I do have gifts that I’ve never figured out how to use or strengthen. I can on occasion see spirits, and can readily sense them. As a historian, I would love to develop my ability to communicate with spirits because who better to get information from?
As I stated in my question in the forum, I want to be the site leader, not the assistant leader. There is no logical reason why I’m not the lead. I’m so tired of doing the right thing, putting up with BS, and being a team player, only to never be rewarded for it.
I want more control in my life. I’m tired of my life being shaped by people and circumstances outside of my control.
I want to make my ex, his mother, and his grandmother pay for the rotten shit they’ve done to me. I’m not going into detail here, but I’m not going to lie and pretend that I don’t want to see him get what he deserves.
Struggles:
I’m too fucking nice. People see I have a big heart and take advantage of it. I only attract people who want to use and abuse me, (though thankfully not physically) and guys who think I have “whore” tattooed on my forehead. I don’t want to become a cold hearted bitch, but I really have got to put myself first sometimes.
I’m too easily distracted. Usually by work because they know that 9 times out of 10 if I’m asked to do something I’ll do it.
I give too much of myself to others, to the point where I rarely if ever get to do the things I want to do. I have six historic dresses I’ve started for different time periods that I haven’t finished because I’m too tired when I get home. I never finished organising my apartment for the same reason.
Basically I’m at a point where I’m fed up and want to change things for the better. I’m looking to find the best way to empower myself to reach my goals. Any and all help is appreciated.